Xena: Season 1, Episode 11: "The Black Wolf"

You might think 500 BC a little early for ninjas, but you'd be wrong. It's a little known fact that Ninjas got their start in ancient Greece protecting poor villagers from asshole overlords.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

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Jade Fox fights the innocents in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Not the Black Wolf. I originally had YouTube footage of the Jade Fox fight scene here, but the video has been taken down, and there's nothing to replace it. SO. Here, instead, is the greatest fight scene in Crouching Tiger and possibly all of film history:

EXTRAS:

1) Big Dude: “Looking for the man of your dreams, darling?” X: “Yep (punch to the gut) You’re not him.”

2) Koulos: “Guards!” X: “Oh, don’t bother the dears. They’re sleeping.” – YES!

3) X: “I can tell you that you were the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister. That was important to me.” – that is so fucking sweet.

4) X: “There are two people in this dungeon who know I’m telling the truth. One is me… and one’s a traitor.” – Love the way she says this.

5) G: “Have you seen Xena? She, she’s tall. She’s beautiful. She, piercing blue eyes, swings a mean right hook. It looks like she might have swung it already.” - Good stuff.

6) Big Dude: “What if my drawers drop?!” Sal: “I don’t think that’s likely to happen. Uh, it’s a perfect fit. It’s like you were poured into that outfit. That belt really ruins the line of the ensemble.” - Ha!

7) Xena elbows the big dude in the nose. While she asks if anyone else has a problem with her, he struggles to recover noisily in the background before saying, “I got no problem.”

8) Flora’s trust in Xena is sweet as she lays her head down on the execution block. 

This is really a really cute video of what happened in New Zealand with LL and the Shell tanker protest. HOWEVER, there is a SERIES SPOILER at the end of this clip. So, if you're new to this show, please skip the video or at least skip everything past 1:30.. Or just watch this instead: Lucy Lawless Tanker Interview on TMZ.com. Please. I beg you!

 

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