Xena: Season 1, Episode 08: "Prometheus"

I've reached a new milestone. First, it was acquiring the box set, then it was building the website, now I've (drum roll) ...gotten all the way through disc 2. Only 52 more discs to go! In other news:

“Once, a long, long time ago, all people had four legs and two heads. And then the gods threw down thunderbolts, and split everyone into two. Each half then had two legs and one head. But the separation left both sides with a desperate yearning to be reunited. Because they each shared the same soul. And ever since then, all people spend their lives searching for the other half of their soul.” - Gabrielle

Gang, this ep was a good one. And this part was soOo beautiful - the whole moment: the music, Iolaus, Gabrielle’s face, the story. Ugh!!

SPOILER: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] for said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

CLICK HERE for full page view.

 EXTRAS:

(1) Iolaus: “Hercules, I thought you cared about her.” Hercules: “I do care about her.” I: “Then let her strike the blow.” H: “Iolaus, I can’t. Just trust me.”

(2) H: “Well, sometimes in life, you go with your heart, not your head.” X: “What does that mean?” H: “That means, I can’t let you die, if I can do anything to stop it.” – Awww...

(3) I: “Do you believe that everyone has someone out there that shares a part of their soul?” H: “I know it.” – So sweet, yet he says this as he watches Gabrielle and Xena taking off together. If Hercules and Xena were the halves of the same soul, the search would’ve been over, and Xena and Hercules would’ve stayed together. Would they not?

(4) Xena laughs while kicking ass. She’s so evil.

(5) Even so early on, Xena was willing to die for everyone. [SERIES SPOILER] I plan to keep this in mind for the final two episodes. [END SPOILER]

(6) Luckily the sword fell on the rock Hercules held just right, enough to fly into Prometheus’ chains and cut them. Also, luckily that bird carrying Xena flew right over the place where Xena could fall into Hercules’ strong arms.

The legend of the sword and Arthur pulling it from the stone, just like Xena: 

Click HERE for an updated calendar/watching schedule.

 Xena Movie Review Templates: COLOR or Black & White

Don't forget to like the Xena Movie Campaign on Facebook! 

 Thanks for reading!

Xena: Season 1, Episode 07: "The Titans"

Good times! All kinds of interesting stuff happening in episode 7. Foremost is the first, technical, blatant piece of subtext that I've encountered. Everything else up 'til this point has been speculation (even though it's true).

SPOILER: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] for said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

CLICK HERE for full page view. 

EXTRAS: 

1) Yes, I think this could be the part where Xena realizes she has feelings for Gabrielle. Gabrielle's had feelings for Xena since "Sins of the Past;" she just hasn’t named them yet.

2) G: “What’s the matter?” X: “Nothing, I just-” G: “-Thought I did something without thinking?” X: “Well, if you did, it’s none of my business.” G: “Yeah, that’s right; it isn’t!” - If a friend of mine acted this way, I might wonder about his or her feelings.

3) Philius: “She’s gone!” X: “She must be trying to prove herself to me.” Dude: “It’s ready.” X: “Good. If the titans caught her, we could be facing thousands by now. On the bright side, if anyone can stall, it’s Gabrielle.” – Xena is so confident about this. It's great. 

4) Hyperion: “It’s the right chant! If said correctly by a virgin, it should release the other titans!” G: “Well, there’s your problem. I’m not a virgin anymore.” Hyperion: “You little harlot.” – I'll admit; this scared even me. And how funny that Hyperion calls Gabrielle a harlot.

5) X: “There’s a piece missing!” G: “'There’s a piece-'…” - Ha!

6) X to G: “Look, the point is, we’re friends, and we shouldn’t let things like that come between us.”

7) X: “Why did you risk your life by going into that cavern alone?” G: “I wanted to make up for what I did, so that you wouldn’t hate me.” X: “For your information, I could never hate you. Your heart’s always in the right place.” – Awww…

Click HERE for an updated calendar/watching schedule.

 Xena Movie Review Templates: COLOR or Black & White

Don't forget to like the Xena Movie Campaign on Facebook! 

 Thanks for reading!

Xena: Season 1, Episode 06: "The Reckoning"

What up, G's? I didn't quite manage to fit this review into a single template as before, which is what I hope to achieve with every review. It doesn't mean I love it any more/less! In this blog's episode, Xena and Ares have a few private chats about her future.

 

SPOILER: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] for said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

CLICK HERE for full page view. 

EXTRAS:

(1) “That hooded assassin who did do it, he fights as well as I do, maybe better. He’s strong and fast, and then he just disappeared.” – Xena talking about Ares.

(2) Gabrielle: “Nobody here cares that she didn't kill anyone. Nobody cares that she was only trying to help! Nobody believes that she fought the real murderer! All you care about is executing someone! I'd've run away, too. So would you.” – It was like watching A Few Good Men; I was engrossed.  

(3) “You’re irresistible. But I suppose you already know that.” – Xena to Ares. I love that she says this, because it’s true. He’s a god!

(4) Xena: “That was a pretty dumb thing you did back there.” Gabrielle: “Well, you would’ve done the same for me.” X: “That's different.” G: “Why? Because you're a warrior? Yeah, well, normal people like me take chances to save their best friends, too, you know.”

(5) Xena: “I need you to leave me alone for a while.” Gabrielle: “Okay.” X: “I didn’t mean that like it sounded. I’m glad you came back.” – This was the sweetest part in the whole episode.

(6) I love it when Ares commends Xena, even for acts committed against him.

Radiohead's "Reckoner." One of their best. Look out, it's srsly beautiful: 

 
Revised Calendar:

Click HERE for larger view.

Click HERE for an updated calendar/watching schedule.

 Xena Movie Review Templates: COLOR or Black & White

Don't forget to like the Xena Movie Campaign on Facebook! 

 Thanks for reading!

Xena: Season 1, Episode 05: "The Path Not Taken"

Hey, gang! Here's the review. To my utter surprise, this is the first time there are no extras (right?). Here be a little lyin', a little kissin', and some bad acting. 

SPOILER: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] for said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

CLICK HERE for full page view.

Bill Murray Scarlett Johansson-whispers:

Click HERE for an updated calendar/watching schedule.

 Xena Movie Review Templates: COLOR or Black & White

Don't forget to like the Xena Movie Campaign on Facebook! 

 Thanks for reading!

Xena: Season 1, Episode 03: "Dreamworker"

"Dreamworker"

 
Here's the season 1, episode 03 review. Enjoy it; I sure did. It's my favorite episode thus far.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the entire series by posting "series spoiler" for said item number. Please don't read the review, unless you have seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

CLICK HERE for full page view.

Neo. He's The One:

There is so much in this episode worth quoting. Instead of posting the "extras," I should just copy and paste the entire script. Watch this ep and tell me you don't feel the same way. If you do feel the same way, say nothing. Otherwise, read on, because I've decided to stay true to form and include the extras section as planned. 

EXTRAS:

1) Storekeeper: "Owe me? After taking away the fear of the mystics? After making this valley a safe place to raise a family?.. Ten percent off everything." – So funny. Keep your 10%, tight asses!

2) Xena: "All right. The rules of survival. Number one. If you can run, run. Number two. If you can’t run surrender, and then run. Number three. If you’re outnumbered, let them fight each other, while you run. Number four." Gabrielle: “Wait. More running?” X: “No. Four is where you talk your way out of it, and I know you can do that. It’s wisdom before weapons, Gabrielle. The moment you pick up a sword, you become a target. And the moment you kill..” G: “The moment you kill, what?” X: “Everything changes. Everything.” – [SERIES SPOILER] lots of invaluable info at the beginning. Pretty much a MAJOR ruling factor over both their lives throughout the first half of the series summed up in these few lines. [END SPOILER]

3) “Remember this is your dream passage. Gods be with you.” – Sir Elkton John. Words to live by.

4) Gabrielle: “I’ve already been through one of their challenges. And there were two of them. I did what you said. They killed each other. Does that count?” Xena: “If it did, you’d be on your honeymoon by now.”

5) Evil Xena: "No, no, my sister. You can’t leave. You still haven’t found the key. You take for granted all your gifts and talents - me. Everything you are today came from me. Every spark of noble quality that made you a great leader - me. The strength that made men tremble at your name, it all came from me! You understand?" Xena: “I understand. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t exist. Whether I like it or not, you’re the key… You’re the key. There’s only one way out of this Dreamscape - you!" – This is amazing that she figures this out (and by accident, it seems), that it is literally her dark side that will save Gabrielle.

6) Xena: “See how calm the surface of the water is. That was me once. And then (she throws a rock into the water) the water ripples and churns; that’s what I became.” Gabrielle: “But if we sit here long enough it will go back to being still again. It will go back to being calm." X: "But the stone’s still under there. It’s now part of the lake. It might look as it did before, but it’s forever changed. Come on let’s go.” - God, pleeease let there be more of this in the future. I love this show.

7) Highwayman: "Oh, we’re but poor men trying to scrape an existence in this evil world. Every now and then we ask for a little something from travelers like your horse, your gold, or any jewelry you might be carrying. And I think I’ll have that fancy sword of yours, too. Now all things considered, I think a surrender would be a good start.” Xena: “I accept. Gabrielle, take their weapons.” - This made me laugh really hard, especially Gabrielle's expression.

8) Awesome the way Xena throws that storekeeper up against the wall with her arms crossed in an X. Their whole exchange is captivating.

9) Love how Elkton tells Xena, “It would take you months (then he feels her strong arm) days to fight your way in."

10) Evil Xena: "Oh. Well, let me ask you this. Back then, didn’t it feel right? Everything we did felt right. It felt good." – Love the way she says this line.

11) Awesome shot of Gabrielle picking up the sword at the end. Pretty sure that scene is canonized in the Xena intro.

12) The guy Gabrielle is forced to fight at the end is cute like a teddy bear.

13) Lucy Lawless looks good and like a totally different person with dark eyes.

14) Elkton: "It’s no good! It, it, it’s hidden in the mountains, and well protected by an army of warriors. It would take you months, days to fight your way in. By then, your friend will be dead. Unless.. unless you’re the one! In a dream vision, I saw a warrior who could travel the dream passage and defeat Morpheus! You must be the one! A woman with a dark past, strong and brave." Xena: "I’m the one." – I can't stress enough how awesome this is to watch.

15) I get the chills every time I hear the battle cry for the first time in each episode.

16) These early times of Xena saying Gabrielle’s name: you can hear her New Zealand accent. I know she works this out later so that it sounds more American, and it ends up being the sexiest way anyone’s ever said the name “Gabrielle” before in their lives. Listen for it. Seriously. She draws it out like no other, like every vowel is an adventure.

17) Cool when Manus offers his neck to Gabrielle. Makes me like him.

18) Xena's evil doppelganger tries to touch her face; she turns away from the hand. I believe that’s what would really happen.

19) We see the first person that Xena killed (in Amphipolis). She said he killed friends of hers and people she grew up with.

Elkton screams just like Doc at 2:14:

Episode 4 review is coming soon (along with a revised calendar).

 Thanks for reading!

 Xena Movie Review Templates: COLOR or Black & White

Don't forget to like the Xena Movie Campaign on Facebook! 

Reviewing Xena: The Greatest Enterprise in History

Now, I am not a wealthy woman by any stretch. I'm not even what one would call "financially stable." I live alone in New York City, one of the most expensive places in the world; rent for my studio apartment is $1,085 a month; my gas has been shut off since November, because I can't afford to pay the bill; I scrape a meager living as a receptionist in Manhattan; I have no health insurance (ha!); I barely make enough to make ends meet. In short, I really have no business being here, yet I find it's the perfect setting to watch back-to-back episodes of Xena. 

What I'm saying is I am going to sit here, in the middle of Brooklyn, on my couch, in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple, to watch 134 episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess (137 if you count the introductory episodes in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys.) Though I'm sure I'm not the first to do this, I might just be the only person who's ever done it.

In case you aren't paying attention, that's 4 days, 9 hours and 12 minutes... of Xena: Warrior Princess.

The way in which I will tackle this task is very structured. I have a tentative schedule set up that I'll share with you in the coming days. It took me about three months to finish the series in 2009, which I'll talk about tomorrow. I'm giving myself the same amount of time this go-round, though I predict there will be more rewinding involved. 

I've created an episode review template, about which I'm really excited. I'll upload that for everyone to download and use. Right now, I'm warring over whether to type my notes within the template or print out the sheet, fill it in by hand, and scan each one into my computer. What would you do? Hmm... 

If I hand-write them, they'll be more fun to look at, but it could also be messy; be unorganized; take me longer to make corrections; be harder to edit, surely; and all post-research will have to be done manually. HOWEVER, if I type everything directly into the template in, say, Adobe Illustrator or Acrobat, then I could make each file searchable in a pdf document (using optical character recognition [OCR]) and I could print physical copies.. I think I just answered my own question. Blogger: it's your therapist and your guide.