Xena: Season 3, Episode 05: "Gabrielle's Hope"

"Gabrielle's Hope"

What a beautiful fuckin’ episode. GEEZus, it's so good... Hmm, it’s really good, and I can definitely say this is the second time in my life I've ever seen it, so it was like the first time.

This episode marks one point of many where the series takes a turn onto a new level of serious that can't be found in the 1st and 2nd seasons. Also, it’s tentatively the first time Xena and Gabrielle oppose each other. Suddenly... there’s a rift.

Let's start with the end. I love the final scenes of this episode. Holy shit, I was so into it. The writing is perfect.

G: "Xena, this is madness."
X: "Get away from that rock, Gabrielle."
G: "I can't believe you're doing this."
X: "Move."
G: "No."
X: “Now!"

This is the best scene in all history. I love Xena’s remorseful expression, for it's true: if Hope had been behind that rock, Xena would have killed her, and that's why she looked so sad telling Gabrielle to move. Hope's murder would have ended their relationship, Xena knew, but she would do it to save Gabrielle, herself, and all of mankind. She was going to kill a baby, her best friend’s baby. It was also Gabrielle’s test for Xena, to see if Xena would actually commit such a crime. This is some twisted, intense, fucked up shit right here. I love it so.

I have a minor squabble with the actual pregnancy. Aside from the improbability of a baby growing that fast without producing stretch marks, Gabrielle’s instant bond with the baby (which came about 10 minutes after she found out there even was a baby, mind you) has always bewildered me. That is all.

In addition to being dope, this episode features two events for the second time. 

1) A hardcore reference to The Sword in the Stone, where again, Xena easily pulls the sword out of the stone, admires it and puts it back. Name the ep where it happens the first time, because I can't remember which one it is. 

2) We see a baby floating down the river! This also happens in Season 1, Episode 4, coincidentally titled "Cradle of Hope." 

In summary, Xena tries to kill Gabrielle’s baby and Gabrielle lies to Xena. Shit, man. And they’re both right! It’s gloooorious.

Kinda lovin' R.J. Stewart right now. Good writer.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRAS:

1) I love when Xena hits that guy in the helmet with her sword and sends him flying backward.

2) X: “You are going to get through this thing. You're gonna wake up one day and have hope again. You’ll see. There's so much good to be done.” – Oooh, shit.

3) G: “I just feel like I should be punished for what I’ve done.” X: "You are being punished by your conscience. For someone like you, there couldn’t be a worse torture.” – This is awesome.

4) G: “What was that?” X: "I don't know. It was too high-pitched to be a wolf. Let’s get out of these woods.” G: "Good idea.” – Ha!

5) G: "Xena! I don't know why, but they won't attack me.” X: "Good, all the more for me.” G: "Will you just stay behind me?” X: "I'm gonna kick these ladies' butts!” – Hahahaa! WHY GOD??

6) G: “And I thought the Greek immortals were freaks.” X: "Yeah, but they're our freaks.” – You can hear Lucy’s accent when she says “our.”  

7) X: “You all right?” G: "Yeah, my stomach's better. It's just...my soul. Xena, I thought that Khrafstar was leading me to the salvation of the world, through peace and light. And instead I discovered the heart of darkness. I became a part of that. I think that that's what the Banshees were talking about, that maybe that there's an evil in me, and that they want to worship that?” X: "Now, you stop that. Gabrielle, what you're talking now is nonsense. What happened in that temple cannot destroy the core of your goodness. It only gave it a greater challenge. You're gonna rise above it. I know you will.” – [SERIES SPOILER] I mean...eventually she will. Right? [END SPOILER]

8) G: "It sounds like a plan. Maybe I'll get something to eat.” X: "Yeah, that'd be great if you can manage it. H-have you got any chicken broth?” Innkeeper: “Yeah." X: "There you go. That should go down pretty easy. I'll be back, soon.” – This is so adorable.

9) G: "Mm, pork liver.” Innkeeper: “Right." G: "I mean, if you've got it. Oh, and don't overcook it, ‘cause I like it really bloody.” Innkeeper: “Yeah." G: "You know, if you melt some cheese over the top, that would be perfect.” – Ha! Gross.  

10) G: "Hmm. Hey, if you have any chicken gizzards, you just fry 'em in some sheep lard, send 'em my way." – Oh. My. God. I can't believe this is actual dialogue. It's so fucking funny.

11) X: "Oh, we don't have to run for it. I'm gonna slap these Banshees silly.” – Ha! It nearly sounds like she’s saying “bitches.” I really wish she was.

12) G: "Xena, what's going on?” X: "I think you're pregnant. I'd say you're in your fourth month, I mean-“ – Looove the way Xena says this. She's totally bewildered.

13) G: “Tell me who these warriors are.” X: "They're the ones that sent the lynch-mob on you.” G: "And they're supposed to be an improvement over the Banshees? Xena-“ X: “Shh." G: "At least they seem interested in protecting me.” X: "Not you, it.” – For me, this was where the episode turned totally deep and twisted. Into a “thriller” if you will.

14) X: “What is growing inside my friend?” Caswallawn: “Darkness!" Eochaid: "You don't know that. It could be child-“ X: "One version at a time!” – I love the way she says this. Xena’s at her best when she’s annoyed and pissed off.

15) Caswallawn: “When your friend was on the altar in the temple of Dahak, he planted his seed within her.” – Where I come from, we call that rape.

16) Goewin: "Caswallawn, that child is innocent, a clean slate. We can't punish it for the sins of its father.” Caswallawn: "You're wrong. It's very existence is a sin.” – [SERIES SPOILER] A cruel thing to say about a child...but in this case it happens to be true. Fascinating. This show is fascinating. [SERIES SPOILER]

17) X: "Are you all right?” G: "I feel great." X: "Well, you weren't great a few minutes ago.” G: "I guess being a mother must agree with me.” – Ho-ho MAN! Jesus. This is usually a determination a mother makes about two years after finding out she's pregnant. Not Gabrielle though. All she needs is about 10-15 minutes. Thank you, Universe, for this storyline.

18) G: "Why is that sword stuck in the stone.” Goewin: "Our last king, before the Romans came, he struck that sword into the stone. Hmm. No one's been able to move it since.” Eochaid: "Our tradition states that one day a great warrior will be born to our people. He will become our king and lead us in our fight against the barbarians.” Goewin: "And we'll know who he his because only he will be able to pull out the sword.” X: "Nice blade.” – This is so funny, I can hardly breathe. The funniest part about it is Xena’s admiration for the weapon.

19) G: "Xena, isn't she just the most beautiful little gem? How could anybody ever think she's evil?” X: "Who do you think she is?" G: "Well, she's my daughter.” X: "Doesn't it bother you that she's obviously not mortal?” G: "She's half-mortal. She's like Hercules. Actually, that’s not a bad model for her.” X: "Gabrielle, she is the daughter of Dahak.” G: "I have thought about that.” – This is so deep. And the last part, so funny. “Who do you think she is?” is amazing.

20) G: “Xena, maybe she is [the daughter of Dahak]. Look, if that's true, then I will help her fight against her dark side, just like I helped you fight against yours.” X: "But, what if it's not possible?” – Does this conversation not happen for a woman who’s trying to decide whether or not to keep her rapist’s baby?

21) X: "Well, all right. But, I'll be watching her development very carefully.” G: "What does that mean?” X: "Just that I'm not so convinced of her innocence.” G: "Well, you get this clear, Xena. No matter what she is, she is my daughter. Don’t come between us.” – DAMN. All of this.

22) X: "That thing killed Goewin. It strangled him with his own medallion chain.” G: "Have you lost your mind? Look at her. She's a-she's a baby.” X: "It is not a baby. It is a thing in the form of a baby, a dark, wicked thing that must be destroyed."

23) Head Banshee: “You’re a glutton for punishment, aren't you?!” X: "I've got your number, Sweetie.” – Ha! Lucy Lawless also calls someone “sweetie” in Battlestar Galactica and it’s equally as funny.

24) G: Please, don't cry. I'm not gonna let her hurt you. I promise I won't. I'll die, first. Are you tired? Me, too. We can’t rest. Xena won't. I know her. Who are you? Who are you?” Xena in the distance: "Ya! Ya!” G: "You see what I mean? She's relentless.” – This is almost very sweet, one of those rare moments where we glimpse Gabrielle’s opinion of Xena. Also, Gabrielle knows she can not hide from Xena. It’s at this point that she floats the baby down the stream. When Xena finds her, the baby is already gone.

25) X: “Gabrielle, I understand how you feel! You’re looking at it as if this were a real baby!” – This writing, man. Xena sounds so desperate here, and she is.

I could watch clips of Janice from Friends all day long. I much prefer her hilarious whiny voice over the head Banshees'. Here's a comp of all her "Oh my gods." It's not the strongest testament to her irritating sound box, but it's close:

Like Hope, Michelle from Full House was played by twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson. Perhaps you've heard of them. 

This is not totally unlike the time that Xena pulled the sword from the stone. Remember that? Remember it from that one episode that I just reviewed?

Since "Gabrielle's Hope" deals with Banshees, might as well throw in a little Siouxsie. This was my favorite song when I was in the 7th grade. 

The day I watched this episode, I listened to two songs only: Moby’s "Ooh Yeah" and The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony." I think "Bittersweet Symphony" is more this ep's speed, so here ya go, whore. I love this song.

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