Xena: Season 3, Episode 04: "The Deliverer"

"The Deliverer"

This ep is hard to swallow in more ways than one, from a production standpoint and from a substance standpoint. But regardless of my squabbles with it, boring and meek it is not.

First I'll say, halfway through this, I thought I’d gotten my episode prediction wrong! There is SO. MUCH. GOING. ON.

1. Xena faces Caesar.
2. Xena reconciles with Boadicea.
3. Ares tells the truth for once about the new god, but Xena doesn't believe him.
4. Caesar captures Gabrielle and puts her on a cross.
5. Aaall the shit this episode says about religion. It’s so gutsy. I remember at first watch, I didn’t see it coming.
6. Xena loses herself to her lust for battle.
7. Gabrielle KILLS someone.
8. We meet Dahak.

I'm sure I missed something, as the gamut runs wide. EACH OF THESE could be an episode all its own. For instance, I thought Boadicea was in a different chapter entirely; not only is she in a Caesar episode, she’s in the "Gabrielle Kills" episode. Jesus. There were so many gd plot points, it made for the most difficult synopsis I've ever written.

Subtext notes: A lot of fans say that this episode kicks off a stream of jealousy-filled events by our heroines over each other. I definitely see it in "The Deliverer." I feel like I've seen them jealous in past episodes as well, but when I dwell on it, these moments could be construed as jealousy over someone else. This ep might host the first unquestionable moment of jealousy, where the audience is like, "Holy shit. Why'd she say that like that?" I'm referring to the part where Gabrielle and Khrafstar are talking on the boat. Here's what happens:

• Below deck, Khrafstar tells Gabrielle about his "one god," while Xena checks everything above. 
• Xena comes downstairs. Gabrielle sees her and immediately knows Xena won't like them talking. She explains before Xena even fucking says anything, "Um, I was just teaching Khrafstar how to avoid seasickness. He was telling me about his god, ha-ha. It’s, it’s very interesting.” It seems even to Gabrielle that she's babbling, knowing it's all for not. Her tone and rhythm suggests that she knows her explanation is only making Xena madder.
• Xena rudely says, “I’m sure it is,” and walks away from them. 
• Gabrielle immediately goes to Xena and approaches her like she's in trouble (why would she be?) She gingerly asks, "Hey, what’s up?" 
• Xena snaps at her, “Does anything have to be up?” Just like a jealous lover. Why not just explain her Boadicea situation right then? She loses her cool, as love will often cause one to do.

Whether she's jealous of Khrafstar or the "one god," she's jealous of Gabrielle's attention to someone or something other than herself. There's no other interpretation I can make. We all recognize what the tone of Xena's "Does anything have to be up?"-reply implies. We've all heard it before in some form or another.

"The Deliverer" feels like a two-part episode, but I didn’t see "Part 2" or "To Be Continued" or anything like that… in the apartment above me, I can her the garbled recording of MLK's “I Have a Dream” speech. Anyway, I didn't see any of that, so I didn't watch the next ep immediately afterward.

Now, I’m to the episodes that I watched for the first time in 2009. This excites the shit out of me.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRAS:

1) The talk between Gabrielle and Xena about the grain of sand summates their personalities perfectly. Gabrielle is searching for something more always, travels the spiritual path, and loves science; while Xena is more animalistic. She just wants to eat, survive, and if that stick is hard enough, it can hurt someone. 

2) Xena: “Let these men go.” Legionary: “Any particular reason why we should?” Xena: “Yeah, a whole list of em.” [She starts to beat their asses] X: “Reason one. Reason two. Reason three. I don’t often get to reason four, but when I do, it gets real messy!”

3) Ares: “Hmm, still miffed about the insanity thing, huh? Oh, get over it. Even the Furies have forgotten about it by now. There’s no real damage done.” X: “You wanted me to kill my mother.” – Ha!

4) Khrafstar: “My god has taught me that direct confrontation is not always the right path.” G: “Yeah, well Xena taught me that if you let someone take advantage of you, they will.” – I love the way she says this. Awesome.

5) Gabrielle: “Well, he said something about dividing-” Xena: “Dividing a woman’s sensibilites from her emotion? Yeah. Yeah, I know his philosophy.” – She sounds a little bitter, no?

6) Ares: “Whatever you might think about us, Xena, you know us. You might love us, you might hate us, but we are not evil. This god is.” – This is so good. It never occurred to me that the Greek Gods weren't evil, but I guess it's true. I love to think about what ancients (especially Xena) might have thought about the gods. Were there Atheists?

7) Xena: “What have you done to her, you bastard?!” – YEAH!! This is so good. Probably the best part in the whole episode.

8) Khrafstar: “Dahok will bring the cleansing fire of war to the world, a war begun over innocence.” Xena: “This is not the one god of the Israelites.” – Interesting that she thought this.  

9) Khrafstar: “Thank you for Gabrielle.” Xena: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Khrafstar: “Look inside yourself. You brought her here. And why did you come?  To defeat Caesar. Your hatred brought you here. Dahok appreciates rage.” – Dude, that suuucks.

10) Xena: “You half-witted toady to a third-rate god! Come and get me!” – I had to look this up to see what she said. Are we sure about this? “Toady?” What the hell is a toady? Well, I looked it up in my trusty Merriam-Webster. Here’s the definition: toady noun \ˈtō-dē\: a person who praises and helps powerful people in order to get their approval, a sycophant.

11) Xena: “All I’ve seen is a lame attempt at a religion and some fancy fireworks.” – This is awesome. I love the way she says this and keeps her cool while her best friends hangs over a fire behind her.

12) Gabrielle: “Xena?” Xena: “I’m here, Gabrielle.” Gabrielle: “It hurts inside.” Xena: “What?” Gabrielle: “Everything’s changed. Everything.” Xena: “Hey, it’s gonna be OK. Promise.” – [SERIES SPOILER] She ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie. [END SPOILER]

Boadicea may have set a trend, as this episode aired before any of these famous face tattoos:

Heart and face bruiser, Mike Tyson.

One of my all-time faves: Gucci Mane's ice cream cone 'n' lightning bolts.

I'm not a big Kat Von D fan, but I wanted to include a woman. I can't confirm the ep came before the tat... but I bet it did.

One of the most notable face tattoos belongs to Rick Genest, known as Zombie Boy. Here's the model starring in a commercial for Dermablend Professional Leg and Body Cover. This is awesome. 

If you remember anything from the movie Misery (1990), it's this. I imagine this is how Gabrielle felt about having her legs broken on the cross. Be warned, it is horrifying.

Elvira? Or Discord?

I prefer Wolverine's claws to the Deliverer's dinky ones. This is one of my fave scenes from X2:

Finally, what you've all been waiting for, a song I listened to on the day of my review:

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