Xena: Season 3, Episode 03: "The Dirty Half Dozen"

Love how I totally fucked up the calendar almost immediately. Pipe the hell down, I adjusted it. 

"The Dirty Half Dozen"

Odd that I was right in my prediction of what I thought this episode was about, but I was talking about an earlier episode that I also loved. 

God, this 'sode was awesome. Another Steven L. Sears affair, it had Ares and Charles Mesure (Darnelle), whom we’ve seen before [SERIES SPOILER] and whom we’ll see again. [END SPOILER] There were explosions, awesome fight scenes, and what I thought was a really convincing love scene. There were heart-to-hearts and all kinds of shit like that. 

We've seen a few of these kinds of episodes, where Xena teams up or surrounds herself with enemies and backstabbers, whom she knows personally, such as "Ten Little Warlords" and "A Fistful of Dinars" (another of Steven L. Sears's). I love them.

I forgot to mention this in my review: it should be noted that the chakram utterly destroys Agathon's own special Hephaestian throwing weapon. This tells us that the chakram is made of at least the same indestructible material, if not something much stronger.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

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EXTRAS:

1) I love Ares’ “score one” effect. Also, while we’re at it, I have always loved the gods’ appear and disappear effect. Good, simple use of CGI.  

2) Of COURSE that was Xena dragging Darnelle away from camp in the middle of the night. Xena would never have let someone sneak into their camp without hearing them.

3) Did you notice Darnelle’s a bit of an Olympian? His weapon of choice is a javelin, and he shot-puts a rock at one point. 

4) Agathon and Xena have a draw!! Just like the old west. Also, this scene with all the steam and shit reminds me of the final fight scene in Commando starring Schwartzenegger. Also, what a gruesome death for Agathon. 

5) When all is said and done, Darnelle respects women and Glaphyra, men. Yaaay.

6) Darnelle: "Ah, there was no proof I did it.” Jailer: "He was stabbed with a spear. You were holding it at the time.” Darnelle: "Well, if you wanna go technical on me.” - Ha!

7) Darnelle: "Whoa! There was a lady in here?” Glaphyra: "I'm no lady." - This is funnier to me than it should be.

8) Xena: “She ended up a slaver, selling men to traders from the south.” Gabrielle: "Just men?” Glaphyra: “I specialize.” - I'm curious to know more.

9) Xena: "Gabrielle, I could never see you as being evil. There is a difference between them and you.” - Tell us about it, Xena.

10) Guy's Voice: "This is crazy.” Glaphyra's Voice: "So put down your weapon.” Guy's Voice: "You first.” Gabrielle: "Murderers guarding murderers. It was a good idea. Hmm.” - Gabrielle is so smart, and this is so funny.

11) Walsim: “Poison, I'll bet. One of you poisoned him.” Darnelle: "You're the one with the cross-bow. Maybe we should look for an arrow in his back.” Walsim: "Maybe you wanna look for one in your chest." - Hahahaa. I love how Walsim says this.

12) Ares: “Give this up, Xena. I'm not gonna make any deals this time. I promised Agathon I would not interfere. If you attack, he’s gonna kill you.” - I love this, because he tells her as though he cares about her.

13) Xena: "Gabrielle's been through more than you'd think. Yes, more than you. And, despite everything, she doesn't carry hatred toward others. Good people don’t." Glaphyra: "And the bad people?” Xena: "The bad people are us, Glaphyra. Who I was, who you are. You know, you're so quick to blame everything on men, you have never once looked inside yourself for the answers. It's something that I had to learn. Gabrielle is a good teacher. Who knows? If I had met her back when I met you, maybe it'd be me who changed.” - Good talk about the theme of the episode, maybe the whole show. This is a very correct feminist conversation. Xena, the ultimate feminist, talking to Glaphyra, a man-hater posing as a feminist.

14) Glaphyra: "I want you to know, when I kill you, it won't be because you're a man.” - Ha! Getting there.

15) Xena: "Gabrielle, Glaphyra, get out.” Gabrielle: "I'm not leaving!” Glaphyra: "Like she said! Besides, we have to protect our men, don't we?!” - Man, she’s running with it, isn’t she?

16) Glaphyra: "Seems like as good a direction as any. I think I can put up with the company, for a while.” Darnelle: "Don't go falling in love with me, now!” Glaphyra: "I'd sooner fall for a toad.” Darnelle: "Well, it's a start!” - Ha!

17) Gabrielle: “Hmm, I can answer that. You'd still be heroic Xena. You were on that path when we met.” Xena: "Are you crazy? Without you to keep me on the straight and narrow-“ Gabrielle: "You'd have managed.” Xena: “Hey!" Gabrielle: "Just not as well.” Xena: "Hang on a minute.” - If you stop to process this–to picture it–it’s reeeally funny.

Robocop (1987) or Hephaestian armor?

The steamy fight between Bennet and John (Arnold) in Commando (1985): 

I've been listening to this a lot lately. You've probably heard it but maybe never knew who sang it. The artist is M83 and the song is "Midnight City." The video is also really pretty:

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