Xena: Season 2 Summary

All right, I'm not going to lie to you, much as I want to. Season 2 blew my shirt off. Sooooo much shit happened, including but not limited to: 

1. We learn Xena has a son
2. Xena and Gabrielle turn into vampires
3. Gabrielle marries Perdicus
4. Callisto totally kills Perdicus
5. We meet Meg, Xena's second doppelgänger
6. Xena and Callisto switch bodies
7. Ares loses his godhood
8. We learn about Ceasar and his part in Xena's descent into darkness
9. Xena dies
10. We learn about M'Lila and the origin of the pinch
11. Gabrielle becomes an Amazon queen
12. Fan favorite "A Day in the Life" happens
13. Xena goes blind
14. Joxer falls for Gabrielle

Again, as with season 1, I'm baffled by the heaviness so early in the series. I mean, so far Xena's died TWICE, you guys. Xena has died once every season thus far. [SERIES SPOILER] Maybe I'm dreaming this, but I'm pretty sure she dies at least once every season, and, with the exception of this season, so does Gabrielle. [END SPOILER] Can't wait to see season 3. I can't imagine it getting more intense than season 2, but I remember for a fact that it does.

QUALITY: Season 2 is still a 4:3 standard TV ratio and varies little from the picture quality in Season 1. Nothing about it distracted me from the show, so I'd rate the quality as "good."

RANK: Though I loved season 1, I have to place season 2 at the top. I'm going off of "Favorites" alone, which tallied a whopping 12 in season 2, compared to season 1's seven. Choosing is hard. It's like deciding which star in the sky is your favorite. (And if you say, "Oh, that's easy! That big, bright one!" you're probably looking at Venus.)

Favorite Seasons Rank:

1) Season 2
2) Season 1
3) 
4) 
5) 
6) 

SUBTEXT. Looooots of subtext in season 2, again, to my befuddlement. It's just so early! To name three big ones: 

1. Gabrielle (erotically) bites Xena's neck to turn her into a Bacchae 
2. Xena is troubled by Gabrielle's marrying Perdicus
3. Xena kisses Gabrielle on the mouth, intimately, using Autolycus's body

I know I missed so much in my summaries. There's subtext all over the gd place, so please feel free to let 'er fly when you spot something I didn't. I know there's a lot.

While I believe Xena and Gabrielle's emotional relationship started in season 1, I still hesitate to say their relationship proper (as lovers) has begun. I'll note when I believe it's full tilt boogie. I do think, though, that they're already in love, whether they realize it or not.

[SERIES SPOILER] Remarkably, I'm pretty sure the end of season 2 marks the turning point for Xena and Gabrielle, as far as the pursuit of male (or other female) love interests are concerned. It will be amazing, if I'm right. That means there are four entire seasons where Xena and Gabrielle are exclusive. I remember Xena has a tiny slip, kind of, in season 5, through no fault of her own, but whatever. Season 5 is false! Seriously, though, I might even be exaggerating the season 5 slip. 

Ironically, season 5 is the season I can't wait to see most of all. I'll be more critical of that season than the others, that's for sure. Maybe I'll even end up liking it.  [END SPOILER]

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January 2014: Calendar update

Let's talk about my life a little bit before we bellyflop into this calendar. Look... I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. Shit's happened, which I'll now summarize in list format:

• My awesome job fired me in September; I've been fabulously unemployed ever since.
• I'm currently in an equity showcase play, however.
• And, for the record, my old boss called to hire me back a few days ago. Tempted as I was, I turned him down, because lesbi honest, that job absorbed way too much of my time. Plus, they fucking fired me.
• I'm still in the same apartment but thinking about moving within the next four months to another in Brooklyn.
• I like making lists.

I think that about covers it. In short, I'm about to pound out the remainder of Xena as fast as I can, but I'm gonna be realer about it than I was previously. I'm fully aware of how long it took me to review the first two seasons of this magnificent show. 

For the sake of thoroughness, I recently went through every Xena review to reacquaint myself with what I've already done. I made minor corrections, such as mending broken links and adjusting grammatical errors, but nothing changed significantly.

With this play coming up in the next few weeks, I won't be able to generate as many reviews as I'd like, but I'll try my hardest. Make no mistake, though. Right now, my heart sings the song of Xena. I'm so happy to be doing something that really matters to me.

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Strangers in Paradise

So, all right. I've been away for a while, as we all know. (Hey, at least I completed season 2!) And I've had many adventures, most of them work-based. My job right now is incredible. It takes up nearly all of my time, but it is a fun job that means a lot to me. With that said, I'm trying to figure out how to free up more time.

Before I segue into Xena: Season 3, let's rap a bit...You see, recently, I read a comic book series from start to end for the first time in my life.

The Beginning

Ever since I was little, I've read Archie comics. At the grocery store, I would beg my mother to buy me an Archie Double Digest during checkout. She never turned me down. Maybe it was because Archie was so wholesome, or maybe because she knew Rex W. Lindsey, whose name would often adorn the cover. He and my brother were friends growing up in Colorado Springs. Whenever I would see one of "his" Archie comics, I bought it, thrilled all the more that I indirectly knew someone involved with something so dear to my heart.

L to R: Archie, Veronica, and Betty

My parents remained friends with the Lindseys over the years, and I actually got to visit their home once during a family trip to Colorado when I was 16 or 17. Rex was away at the time, but his parents were happy to show me his office, which was covered with Archie paraphernalia. (It was heaven on Earth.) To my delight, they even gave me an Archie pin that he'd signed. 

Archie, Betty, Veronica, and the gang pleased me more than I can say, and the feeling never wained; I'll still pick up an Archie comic to this day. (Why, I just purchased one on Friday! It's in my purse.) I'll whip it out on the train, and laugh out loud at it during my commute. They're funny!

Anyway, something similar has just happened. 

Lately

Around the holidays, out of curiosity, I conducted an internet search for comics featuring lesbian characters. Some chick took the time in her blog (I can't find it right now, but I will) to list about 8 to 10 mainstream comics featuring such characters. One was Strangers in Paradise.

I immediately honed in on that series, because I loved the way the characters looked. Also it was sort of pitched as a comic that caters to those who don't really read comic books. Now, I already love comic books and graphic novels, but if people who don't like comics like this comic book, it's gotta be good.

And so, like I do with everything I care about, I prepped properly for the reading of SiP. First, I learned everything about the series, but avoided reading anything about the plot.  Then I bought the entire run of volume 2 and 3 issues from eBay - about 104 comic books. (There are three volumes, spanning from 1993 to 2007.) This purchase happened before I really knew what I was doing. The issues were all in near mint condition with bags and boards (look it up) and everything. Before they even arrived, I determined that I couldn't fucking read them, because they are worth more unread. (Collecting comic books is an investment.) These issues were pristine, so manhandling was out.

To get around this problem, I decided to purchase the first five collected volumes in paperback from eBay and Amazon. (There are 19 collected books total.) The only downside to the paperbacks is that the issue covers are represented only in black and white. To circumvent that, I figured I could simply pull out the actual issue I was preserving, look at the cover art in color, and then continue reading the paperback - BOOM, what a plan! God, I'm smart.

As fate would have it, everything made it to my house quickly, except for the very first collected volume. That, for some reason, took about a month to make it to me. I, uh, could not wait that long, SO. I downloaded the comic book app, Comix by Comixology, to my iPad and bought the first collected digital volume, which was more than affordable. I waited for the weekend, poured myself some wine, and started to read.

The Result

The quality of the comic on my iPad was so amazing, that I ended up reading the entire series on it, which cost me $191.84 (including tax). It took me about three weeks. With this purchase, you get every cover of the comic in color, the handy ability to zoom into detail, a sharp backlit image, and the privilege to download the volumes to any device repeatedly (which I did).

I mean, I read the shit out of Strangers in Paradise. I read the whole series straight through, twice! And then a third time out of order. My friends were well aware of how entranced I was by the story. It was so good, it fucked up my life. I would stay up very, very late on work nights, reading. I barely slept, and then while I was awake, I thought about the main characters constantly. It got to the point where I had to finish the book before anything else, so that I could function normally again.

An Epiphany

I love comic books. I love SiP. I never even realized I could.

It isn't just a story, it's not just art, it's BOTH. It's like...like...it's like being double-teamed, really. It's drawn and told so well, that it actually feels real. It haunts me still. Now, THAT is a good comic book.

I imagine that my falling in love with a comic book is what it's like when a person realizes they're gay. I'm sure it was like that. Like when a woman always thought herself straight, then one day stops and asks herself, "My god, do I love her? I think I'm in love with her. I can't believe this, I do, I love her. I'm in love with a woman..." I'm in love with a comic book.

Coincidentally

This year, 2013, marks Strangers in Paradise's 20th anniversary. In celebration, there is a...huge collected paperback volume being released, an omnibus of the entire series that won't break the piggy bank. I bought it without hesitation, even though I already own the series in two different formats. I'm linking it here, because it would behoove you to read it. It's an incredible piece of literature, and I can not believe I lived half my life alongside this thing without ever knowing about it until now. There won't be many copies made, and this will be the cheapest, highest quality of the whole series available (only $100 for the entire run.) The hardcover omnibus sold out immediately; if you happen to find one of those, you'll see that it resells for hundreds of dollars.

(Also coincidentally - and I swear to God, I didn't know this beforehand - there's an entire SiP issue dedicated to Xena! It's adorable; you have to check it out. Volume 3, Issue 16.) 

Summary

Get Strangers in Paradise. You will love it, and it will probably change your life.

Xena: Season 2, Episode 22: "A Comedy of Eros"

Is it poor form to just..put up a post with no explanation, as though months and months of silence haven't gone by?

"A Comedy of Eros"

So this...child...shoots arrows at random people, making them fall in love with each other. Obviously, a writer's first choice in a storyline such as this might have Gabrielle or Xena get struck by an arrow and fall in love with the other, were they not already in love. I, however, subscribe to the theme that they are, because we know the writer and director are not afraid of gay love in this episode, as evidenced by some of the coupling on display.

I know there's this feeling for many of, "CHRIST, why couldn't Gabrielle have seen Xena first, instead of fucking Joxer??" But to have Xena and Gabrielle react to the arrows and "fall in love" would dispel the idea that they've been in love all along. i.e. It would've done more harm that good. Then when the curse was removed? The show would have had to either confirm or deny that Gabrielle and Xena are actually in love (which they are).

Perhaps it was simply funnier to have Gabrielle fall in love with Joxer. On that note: [SEASON SPOILER] This is the episode that marks the start of Joxer’s unflagging love for Gabrielle. [END SPOILER]

G: “I love [Joxer]!” X: “...What?” G: “I know. It shocked me, too, seeing how blind I’ve been.

But maybe that’s what love is; it’s blind... I should write that down.”
- I love this show.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

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EXTRAS:

G: “It’s the virgins I’m talking about. Think of the faith it takes to be one of them.” X: “Yeah, not to mention the other requirement.” G: “Just between you and me, being chaste can be real hard.” X: “Chaste?” G: “Hmm.” X: “No, I was talking about having to answer to that stupid bell your whole life.” G: “That too. Yeah.” - This is hilarious. Any suggestions that Gabrielle is a slut (or anything else that she isn't) are always hilarious. Also, at first, I totally thought she was saying, "chased." Would've worked either way.

D: “I can’t deny you excite me." - Ditto, big D!

X: “You told me you tried to change once.” D: “I did, and almost got killed for my trouble.” X: “Then try again. With me, profit’s not always measured in gold.” – Love the way she says this then leans in for the kiss. Is Xena not the slyest fox around? Girl got game.

D: “Wait! Round up those virgins.” – Love the look on Gabrielle’s face when the guards run right past her. She’s a little shocked. Does this mean that she’s offended because they’re calling her a whore? Or that she’s a virgin and they’re just assuming she's not? Also this is interesting, because it sort of suggests that she never slept with Perdicus.

D: “You dressed them like locals and hid them in plain sight.” – Love that he uses the word locals. Sounds slangy.

G: “Come on, Joxer. Please, just one more time?” J: “You really love it, don’t you?” G: “I love it. The more I practice, the better I’ll get.” – Jesus Christ.

J: “He hurt my hand!” G: “Pookie!” - Hahaha!

X: “Wait a minute. Something’s going on, here. You-you can’t want Gabrielle. Between you and me, she’s a little-” – She seesaws her hand. What could she possibly mean?

X: “This love thing that’s going around. Haven’t you noticed? First, I fall for Draco, and then Gabrielle falls for you, and then Draco falls for Gabrielle!” J: “Who could be in very big trouble right now.” X: “Wait! Slow down. Gabrielle’s going to be fine just as long as Draco’s in love with her. It’s you who’s gonna get killed when he finds out that she’s in love with you! So, what is the big picture here? What’s going on?” – I love how Xena is the only one smart and clear-headed enough to put all this together.

J: “I don’t know. Love? Chaos? Aphrodite?” X: “Yeah, that’s what I thought at first. But there’s no vanity in it. It seems so haphazard. It’s like some child’s game.” – Neat watching Xena literally figure it out, out loud.

X: “You can’t change the one you love. So, wise up. Gabrielle could never love someone who lives off hurting others. You can’t change her. So, if you want to win her love, you better change yourself.” – So much good shit is said in this. Sort of a great episode.

G: “Can you imagine the two of us in love?” J: “Ridiculous” G: “Yeah, kind of makes you laugh just to think about it.” J: “Ha-ha.” – Aawww...

Draco and Xena's arm wrestling scene, I believe, is an exact replica of this scene from prized 80s film, Over the Top, starring Sly Stallone (for the record, the child actor in this is annoying as shiiiiiit): 

Or perhaps it's an imitation of this short match from Superman II:

I feel that the "game of doors" at the end of the ep might have taken a little inspiration from this particular scene from the 80s movie, The Secret of My Success, a movie that I absolutely adore. And I love this scene:

Here's a song I absolutely jammed to (hard) in July of 2012. There's no doubt I listened to this song at least once, if not several times, the day I watched "A Comedy of Eros." To be honest, I am shocked that six months have passed since then, but I'm not ashamed!!

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