Xena: Season 2, Episode 18: "Blind Faith"

Hi. I'm not even going to explain why I haven't posted for over a month. Let's just jump right in, shall we? 

"Blind Faith" - I feel like such a dick for not knowing what this episode was about. I mean, it’s practically spelled out in the title. They might as well have called it, “In This Episode, Xena Is Blind.”

I watched this during the day, which is a first. I think it was because I was overly excited about my bunk weekend sleep-over experience in New Jersey.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

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EXTRAS: 

1) X: “Any market in Athens’ll have it.” P: “Well, if I were you, I’d be headed for Athens.” – Love how he says this.

2) V: “You are not reaching out for a glass of beer in a tavern. You are extending your hand for a kiss.” – I love that he insults Gabrielle at every turn.

3) P: “You see, friends make you vulnerable. That’s why I don’t have any.” X: “Oh, is that why?” - So simple, so effective.

4) P: “Are you crazy! I killed Krakus of Pyla.” X: “No, you didn’t.” P: “What makes you so sure?” X: “Because, I did.” – Nine times out of 10, this is Xena’s retort to someone who claims to have killed someone powerful.

5) V: “Egyptian senna? I have that growing in my garden. Well, you can’t make a good face cream without it.” - Vidalis is so "on" in this episode.

6) G: “OK, you ready? Now, this might sting a little bit.” – How the fuck would she know? “Look, I’ll try to be careful, all right?” – What she means is, "I’ll try not to smear your mascara."

Watching Gabrielle struggle inside that casket, as it's being pulled into a blazing inferno, reminds me of this scene from Kill Bill:

Ulrich Schnauss - "Nothing Happens in June." I've listened to this song several times daily, every day for a month:

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Xena: Season 2, Episode 17: "The Execution"

All right, people, settle down. Yes, I did stay with my friend over the weekend and yes I hated every minute of it. Every minute. "Never again," and that's all I'll say on the matter. Moving right along!

"The Execution:" Not a bad episode. I liked watching it, actually. It's "OK."

It reminds me of one of my all time favorite movies, Errol Morris' The Thin Blue Line. The reenactment style is the same, same dramatic lighting, and the storyline is basically the same: Someone is killed, someone is wrongly accused, someone is tried within a flawed justice system, different accounts are given, eventually justice prevails. If you’ve never seen TTBL, watch it; you will love it.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

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  CLICK HERE FOR bigger VIEW! 

EXTRAS:

1) X: “Don’t make this more difficult than it already is. I don’t want to bring him back, but I have to!” G: “He is an innocent man.” X: “You don’t know that!” – Good stuff. Really good stuff.

2) G: "I won’t let you do this.” M: “Gabrielle.” G: “She’s not taking you anywhere.” – This is so bold. I love that she has the balls to talk to Xena this way.

3) M: “I didn’t want you to know I started drinking again. I thought I could handle just one. Then it was another and another.” – They should show this in high schools or AA meetings.

4) G: “Friends don’t lie. You were right; he wasn’t being honest. I’m sorry for not believing you.” X: “That’s not an issue. You and I have plenty of time to talk about it, but Meleager’s not that lucky.” – I love this. What I’d give to see this future conversation take place.

6) X: "Now I know you’re innocent. You didn’t kill that man. I did.” – Man, Xena's killed EVERYBODY.

7) X: “Remember me? I saved you from that assassin.” - Love the way she says this.

8) G: “It doesn’t matter how valuable they are, as long as it’s priceless to you.” - Good times, Gabrielle. Good times.

9) M: "Look, Gabrielle, when the time comes, don’t look outside.” G: “I have to. I want you to look at me. I want the last face that you to see in this world to be a friend.” – Intense and deep. I love it all over myself.

Now, in this episode, a judge–Judge Arbus–is the bad guy. Because of his slanted ways, innocent people died. Let’s talk about another Arbus, of whom I’m a huge fan. This is Diane Arbus, my favorite photographer (holding her daughter):

Here is some of her work for which she is known:

 

This one's probably my favorite.

I love her, because even though she took pictures of seemingly ordinary things, her work scares the living shit out of me.

The song/video of the day is "Birthday Cake" by Rihanna (I'm just going to pretend that Chris Brown is not featured.) I watched my friend Pauline absolutely jam to this song in the car while riding with her in New Jersey, and I fell in love with it. It's so good:

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Xena: Season 2, Episode 16: "For Him the Bell Tolls"

"For Him the Bell Tolls" 

 The only people saving it from floppage are Gabrielle and Aphrodite

(and to a certain extent, Cupid).

You don't understand. It's not that this episode was shitty; it's just that it suuucked and was completely irrelevant. 

Here's the deal: It wasn't badly done or poorly acted and the script was fine. HOWEVER... Nothing hooked me. [SERIES SPOILER] If I remember correctly, there's a whole lotta this going on in season 5, too, so it's not that it's Joxer-based. [END SPOILER] I love Joxer! I'm on team Joxer, all right? It's not him. There was just no depth to the story. No oomph. No chutzpah.

The show is about Xena. It's even titled, Xena: Warrior Princess. They can get away with a show solely about Gabrielle, because we know Gabrielle. She's been in every single episode thus far and is a compelling character, but we barely know Joxer... In fact, there's little complexity to him as a character, right now. He gets deeper later, but that's for me to tell and for you to hear. So the point is, this episode was a whole lot of fluff, with no sugar or cream. It was like cotton candy made of actual cotton.

As you probably, maybe, might know, "For Him the Bell Tolls" is a direct lift from a passage in one of John Donne's poems or meditations (or whatever). The famous lines read as such:

... any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee..

Pretty awesome, isn't it? It's chilling. However "For Him the Bell Tolls" has absolutely nothing to do with the passage or the John Donne-inspired novel, Ernest Hemingway's "For Whom the Bell Tolls." I do like the linkage of the famous title to the relevance of this Xena ep, though.

Let's talk about the goddess of love. I looove Aphrodite. She’s one of the funniest, intriguing characters on the show (right up there with Ares) and this episode hosts her first appearance! I was so excited! [SERIES SPOILER] My most favorite thing that she ever says comes up later, in season 3 or 4, I think. Hmm… Maybe it’s even in season 6... Whatever, I'll point it out when it happens. [END SPOILER]

Might I conclude by saying that the rewatch of this was extra painful... It was like watching an episode of Batman that's about neither Batman nor Robin, but, say, Alfred the butler. It’s fine, BUT… you see where I'm goin'?

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it. 

CLICK HERE for full page view.

  CLICK HERE FOR bigger VIEW! 

EXTRAS:

1) J: “My sword is always ready to pleasure you, my lady.” – When “cool” Joxer says this, it’s just not funny.

2) A: “Love isn’t just about happy endings. There’s also jealous love, and unrequited love, and tragic love. And when you strip away all the tinsel, it’s really just about hormones, isn’t it?” – Who can argue with the G. of L.?

3) G: “I think I’m gonna be sick.” – You and me both, sister.

4) G: “This is ridiculous. Don’t touch her, Joxer. Cut it out!” I: “Come here.” G: “Guys, stop it! I’ve had enough of- oh! It’s gonna be a long night. Oh, this is so sick!” – This was probably the highlight of the episode for me. Yeah, I know.

5) J: “Joxer the Mighty roams through the countryside, he never needs a place to hide. With Gaby as his sidekick, fighting with her little stick. Righting wrongs and singing songs. Being mightly all day long. He's Joxer, he's Joxer the Mighty. Oh, he's Joxer the Mighty, he's really tidy. Everybody likes him 'cause he has a funny grin. Joxer! He's Joxer the Mighty!” – Word on the street is Sam Raimi wrote this himself.

6) A: “Mmm. You’re that goody-two-shoes that hangs around my boy, Joxer.” – Seriously love the way she says, “my boy, Joxer.” That’s fucking hilarious. Aphrodite - inventing street lingo since ancient times.

7) G: “So you’re going to let an innocent man die?” A: “Oh, come on! No one’s really innocent. Well, maybe you.” – I love that even Aphrodite backs this up.

8) G: “Love is soft and gentle. It’s not violent and cruel.” A: “You don’t know much about love, do you?” – I know the way Aphrodite intends this to be taken, but there’s another way this can go that is utterly fascinating.

9) G: “Remember, that love is about trust and giving. It’s not about anger and jealousy.” A: “She really doesn’t get it, does she?” C: “Maybe she gets it better than any of us.” – God, I love Gabrielle. Now that I think about it, though, it is about anger and jealousy. It’s about aaall of those things. Just sayin’. 

Aphrodite learned to talk by watching Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure repeatedly on her VCR:

I'd like to start doing this thing where I paste the song that I'm listening to the day of the post into the blog. Usually, I'll have a certain song in my head for whatever reason. Today it was "Goddess Eyes II" by Julia Holter, a new artist I came across. Her music is a mix of basic instruments and stiff notes, like this episode. In her case, however, it works:

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May 2012 Calendar Update

All right; let's talk about the schedule a little bit. It took quite the beating in April. Lots of new stuff happened... New jobs, new apartment lease, taxes, new responsibilities.

May, too, brings events about which I'm not happy, frankly. I'll be staying the weekend with a coworker of mine, and that's fine, though I wish I could get out of it. The truth is, I don't know her very well, but I do know that she's very insistent, and I don't think she understands (or cares) that my life is private, busy, and solitary.

Optional Reading: When I try to tell others that I don't have time for fun stuff or that I like to be alone, many view that as a bad thing or something that I'm unhappy with and would like to see changed. The truth is, I don't like to go out much, especially if I don't know the person. I would rather be alone 95% of the time. I love being alone! 

Ironically, I find it hard to be alone due to the insistence of friends. If it wasn't for work and true friends who guilt-trip me into spending time with them, I would never go out at all.

In short, what I'm saying is, I don't want to spend the weekend with my coworker, but it seems to mean a lot to her, and she did help get me my new job, so I'm doing it. I'll spend the weekend with her and will be glad as I do, I'm sure, but I doubt I get in any Xena time.

When my friend's wedding approaches later in the month, I'll obviously miss out on Xena those three days. I fucking love weddings, and it's a good friend, so I'm happy for the distraction. Also, during that time, my friend Max from Texas will be staying with me. He's independent, likes to work the bar scene, then crash with other friends in the city, so I can probably sneak in an episode or two while he's out. However, while he's here with me in the apartment, we have our own shows and movies that we watch together, such as Gone with the Wind.

Miss Scarlett

It will be rough, but I'll attempt to watch more episodes in May than I did in April, get through season 2, and start season 3 at least. I can't make any promises. Not in this town. June should be much slower and therefore "roomier." Unless I start secretarial school... We'll see. Lalalalalalalala!!

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