ALTERNATIVE TITLE
"The Selma Blair Episode"
This review, too, was torturous. Frick.
How should I put this.. "Lifeblood" confused the shit out of me. I didn’t even realize Danielle Cormack wasn’t playing Ephiny until about halfway in. She’s playing a different Amazon named Samsara. Karl Urban is also playing a new character: buffoon cannibal Kor. Is this because Hercules ended and they wanted to give some of these actors one last spin? I really don’t know, I’m too lazy to research.
Danielle Cormack is fine af in this episode, by the way.
The best and only good part about this episode is when Selma Blair appears out of nowhere. I love her as an actor. Did you see her in The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story? Even with that minuscule role, she was so fucking good. Every time I think about The Peep vs. OJ, she comes to mind first, then Sarah Paulson, etc.
Danielle Cormack is fine af in this episode, by the way.
The best and only good part about this episode is when Selma Blair appears out of nowhere. I love her as an actor. Did you see her in The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story? Even with that minuscule role, she was so fucking good. Every time I think about The Peep vs. OJ, she comes to mind first, then Sarah Paulson, etc.
Would’ve given 3 stars if not for Selma, just because it really had nothing to do with Xena and Gabrielle, just like “Married with Fishsticks.” Actually the director of this episode only directed two episodes of Xena: "Lifeblood" and "Married with Fishsticks." You do the math.
This episode is flush with unplanned Eve things. I listed the sock incident, but did you also see Eve playing with Gabrielle’s sai, dropping one on the ground with an audible clang, then - I’m pretty sure - looking at the camera and laughing about it (Around 5:20)?
This episode is flush with unplanned Eve things. I listed the sock incident, but did you also see Eve playing with Gabrielle’s sai, dropping one on the ground with an audible clang, then - I’m pretty sure - looking at the camera and laughing about it (Around 5:20)?
SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.
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EXTRA QUOTES:
1) Cyane II: "Yakut foresaw your arrival. She said you would come to make Eve a part of our tribe and that we should welcome her. We're ready to begin the ceremony." X: "Look, I don't know that this is any time-" G: "Xena, there's death all around us. Maybe bringing a new life into the tribe would be good for us." – I think this line by Gabrielle was the heaviest in the whole episode.
2) Cyane: "If you wish to give Eve your right of caste, you must first take your rightful place as our queen." G: "The queen? You know I'm not staying."
3) Samsara: "Over that rise is the great river. On the other side of the river is the tree that carries the hard red fruit. We race there. The first one back wins the challenge." Karina: Cyane, I think you should accept this and show us how the Atmah runs." Cyane: "I suppose we could that, but it's just, see I don't think running is really a very heroic thing-" Karina: "I think the race has begun." – This line by Karina is hilarious. I really liked her.
4) Cyane II: "Don't you have any respect for the dead? We would never abandon our sisters even in death." X: "Don't your traditions include listening to your queen?" – Love this scathing line by Xena, reminding these bitches to listen to her girlfriend.
5) Samsara: "We've got them on the run. Let's keep going. We can slaughter them like sheep, now." Karina: "No we've beaten them. It'll be a long time before they're able to threaten anyone." Samsara: "But they're-" Ch: "-I said no. It's over, Samsara." – Again, I love the way Karina delivers her lines.
6) G Narrating: "And so the Amazon legacy,to temper might with mercy was restored, thanks to the innocence of a child and the wisdom of Xena." – How the fuck did Xena’s wisdom do anything? It was Yakut. We can think Xena’s heroics. God, this is so fooooorced!!
The ending Amazon dance sequence in "Lifeblood?" Or the Ewok celebration to "Yub Nub" in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983).
There's a movie where a guy sticks his arm through an invisible barrier where it's burned and frozen as a test. As soon as I figure it out, I will post it here. (Oh my god, I figured it out. Coincidentally, it's Hercules 1983, starring Lou Ferrigno, whom I adore. Kevin Sorbo could never compare. Just sayin'.)
Selma Blair was luckily abducted from modern times wearing her Converse Chuck Taylor One Star skate shoes featured below.
Of all the songs I heard this day, "Wings" by Little Mix was topical and most channeled Selma Blair.
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