Xena: Season 6, Episode 11: "Dangerous Prey"

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:

"The Episode Renee O'Connor Directed"

Simply: I love this episode because of all the stuff we get to see Xena do. The flip off the thing, her pulling the chakram from wood, throwing the chakram, wearing Varia’s outfit. Fucking awesome. That epic tree scene? Love that. Seeing her hold those logs together? Heart, be still.

If Gabrielle had been in the episode more, I would have rated it a 7.

Some Extra Loves on Top of the Loves in My Review (pictured below):

• Varia is always hitting Xena
• Xena hoisting Varia with sheer strength
• Xena's shadow on the cave wall
• Just the darkness of this ep
• Xena supporting that whole log cabin/platform
• Xena moving out of the falling log's way

Number of times X throws her chakram: 6

Number of times she catches it: 5

Number of shots with deer in them: 2

Expanding on some of my Notes:

• 21:04 One of the single greatest shots in the history of Xena is this chakram throw right here. I seriously rewound it like 20 times. I could talk about it for days. Someone did a great job with the CGI and LL did a great job really looking like she was throwing and catching that thing. The whole mechanics of catching of the chakram makes sense. She pretty much catches it as it’s about to pass her body. It’s not a “get in front of the ball” kinda catch.
• There’s a famous fan art of Xena looking off into the foreground wearing Varia’s outfit. It’s not an actual moment in the episode, but they knew how toight Xena looked in that outfit, so they did a publicity shot, I'm guessing. There have been so many fan arts with her wearing that outfit, and I never realized the outfit was for this reason, until now. I thought this outfit and scene was maybe in FIN. I’m getting excited about watching FIN, speaking of. Lately I’ve been thinking about movies I love and shit. Some of my favorites end tragically.. I love it when traumatic things happen to my favorite characters. You know where this is going.
• Thank you so much for having Xena and Varia turn around when the cave mouth explodes to witness/acknowledge it. One of my biggest cinematic pet peeves is when something blows up and the person who did it, doesn’t turn around to watch it. It’s stupid and would never happen real life.
• If the beginning of that forest fire was CGI, I am so impressed. I couldn’t tell. I’m genuinely bothered with the insane thought that they actually set those pretty trees on fire.
• So many things I like about Prince Morloch and Xena’s fight. When Xena tries to strike him with the sword first, he parries it away, and she immediately tries again (chef’s kiss).
• So many shots I love in this, such as the leap off that log stack - graceful and gorgeous, and most importantly, believable. Equally believable is Xena pulling that chakram from the log. These nuances are important to me. I love to be pulled-in like this. 
• The shots in this episode are so unique and fun, I can only imagine what ROC could’ve done with a more greatly scripted Xena episode.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

EXTRA QUOTES:

1) Varia: “Marga is our queen.” – Yeah, girl!

2) X: "Gabrielle, try to keep everyone in the camp ‘til I find out what's goin' on." – “Gabrielle, I’m going to say this dialogue to give you an alibi as to why you won’t be in the rest of the episode, as if the fans are unaware you’re directing the episode. K, byeee.”

3) X: "He's gone. At least we can find out where.. I told you to watch him." – Love this line and Xena’s face when she says it.

4) X: "There's a whole lot of things you need to know. This entire canyon is rigged like a hunting ground. There are traps everywhere."

5) X: "I'm gonna let that one go." – OK, she might have meant this seriously, but that is fucking hilaaarious.

6) X: "Something's not right. Varia, this is where you get to do exactly what I say when I say it." Varia: "Just give me the word." X: "Get ready to take your clothes off." – Beautiful.

7) Varia: "All right. Let's go." X: "Where do you think you're going?" Varia: "I'm goin' in there to help you." – Like the way Varia says this. I believe her.

8) PM: "If I'd known how much fun you Amazons would be, I'd have come to this country years ago." X: "I'm not an Amazon." – This is a great delivery. She’s like, you’re stupid. PM: "But you're so tall." X: "It's the boots." PM: "I don't usually do this, but I'd like to know your name before I kill you." X: "You first." PM: "I'm Prince Cheznic Bludecarr Morloch Upper Scheharazadestan." X: "Oh, Xena of Amphipolis. Warrior princess, warrior mom, who conquers Prince Chesty Forloch of Upper Whatever-stan." – Hahahahaha! His name is so long and hers is very short. The way she says this, she never takes herself seriously. He takes himself seriously and hopes to impress her. She doesn’t take herself seriously at all, she just wants to kill him.

9) X: "Go, Varia, go! Varia-" Varia: "I just wanted to see the master in action." – Yeah that’s right, bitch!

10) Varia: "I thought it was gonna hit you." X: "I can take care myself, thank you." Varia: "If this had happened earlier today, I bet you would have just left me here." X: "Don't get too cocky. I still might." – This is so cute.

11) PM: “Light the fire." Raczar: "They're right in the middle of it." PM: "Oh, that's a shame. Do it!" – This convo is weighty and interesting.

12) X: "Not a chance. Varia, saving you is saving the Amazon people. You've just gotta have a little faith." – Love the combination of Xena saying this line while discovering and pulling the rope.

13) Varia: "What am I supposed to do about landing?" X: "Tuck and roll." – Hahahaha!

14) X: "Why don't you come and get some of this?" – OMG Xena loves this line. What an angel.

15) PM: "Know what I like about swords? When I kill you, I get to see the look in your eyes. Oh, I nicked you." X: "Where'd you get that? Shaving?" – Hahahaha! Fuck, I love her so much.

16) PM: "You will fight me! Yeahhh!" (He jumps and impales himself on a whole log.) X: "You lose." – [Pac-Man death noise]

This day, whilst walking down the street, before watching this episode, I listened to "Gone, Gone/Thank You" by Tyler the Creator. I actually listened to this whole album this day, which is what I do every time I want to hear a song from it, it's so good.

Xena: Season 6, Episode 01: "Coming Home"

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:

"They Can't All Be 'Fallen Angel'"

Not the biggest bang I’d hoped for, but not bad for the buck. I wanted to hit pause so many times, you guys. Lots of good stuff here.

First of all, there are new opening credits! They appear to be clips from Seasons 5 and 6, if I'm not mistaken, and I never am.

Safe to say that Xena - both Furied and non-Furied - has the best lines in the episode. A gift. 

Of course about halfway-in, Xena apologizes to Gabrielle for the whole chakram thing that happened the episode prior, and it was so obvious a show's APOLOGY TO THE AUDIENCE, that I had to wonder if's ever happened before.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

CLICK HERE for full page view.

CLICK HERE FOR bigger VIEW! 

EXTRA QUOTES:

1) G: "Maybe he wants to see you again. After all, he does have a thing for you." X: "Nah, he wants something." G: "My point exactly." – Come on, Xena walked right into that one.

2) Ares: “No more excuses! I want that village!" Captain: "But, sir why don't you use your powers to blast them into oblivion?" Ares: "Where's the fun in that? Now, get moving.” – I kinda love this dialogue, "But sir!"

3) Ares: "I don't do mortal at all well. I'm more of a, um, now what is that word? Um - GOD." – As soon as Ares talked like this, I knew it would be a good Ares episode. He’s best when he’s whiny.

4) F/X: "This greater good thing gets old, right?" Ares: "Never tried it." – Hahaha, didn’t see that joke coming.

5) F/X: "To ask me for help?" Ares: "Yeah that sucked." F/X: "And all because you did a good deed. Was it worth it?" Ares: "Let me get back to you on that one." F/X: [Xena kisses Ares. Gabrielle walks in and sees them.] F/G: "What are you doing?" Ares: "To think I actually saved your life." F/G: "Xena [incredulous]" F/X: "Gabrielle I thought you were watchin' the Amazons."

6) Ares: "What happened to the peace-loving blonde chick you used to be?" F/G: "Ares, that Gabrielle's been gone a long time. You and Xena showed me that warriors rule the world, not philosophers." Ares [Puts his arms around both of them.]: "I could get used to this. I could."

7) Varia: "Then you can fight me, now. Come on. Hit me." Eve: "I'm not looking for trouble." Varia: "I live for trouble." Eve: "Believe me, you don't wanna make me angry." – Or maybe you do, Varia. Fuck!

8) Ares: "I'll tell my commander to prepare for an all-out assault. [Tries to snap himself to the commander, it doesn’t work.] I have got to get that ambrosia. I will never get used to walking everywhere." F/X: "Oh, and Ares, when we do get the ambrosia why don't we split it four ways? We could create Olympus on Earth." Ares: "Four ways? Nasty. Sounds great.” – I will never get tired of Ares sexually-charged jokes.

10) Ares: "Sh! Not so loud." Blacksmith: "Uh, beg your pardon, my lord." Ares: "You got a point there." Blacksmith: "Uh, I have? I thought I filed them all down." - It's been a long time since a bit part had such a funny joke.

11) Ares: "War, baby! Come on. You were hot for it before." X: "Ares, there's not going to be any war." Ares: "Oh you are such a kidder. No war. Don't touch me." G: "He has lost his mind." – Love the way G says this.

12) Varia: "I was right, you were a serious warrior. Don't you miss it? I mean, the knot in your stomach as you prepare for war?" Eve: "The quiet after a tough battle." Varia: "Yeah." Eve: "Victory snatched from the jaws of defeat, death so close, then suddenly driven away. No I don't miss it."

13) Varia: "Will you teach me some moves?" Eve: "Will you use them to hurt others?" – Uuuuh, maybe you should, Varia. And maybe you should start with your Mistress, Eve.

14) Varia: "Admit you enjoyed teaching me that." – OH MY GOD.

15) Varia: “You’re Livia, the bitch of Rome.” – The show's really gotta stop saying this, if they want me to take them seriously.

16) Marga: "Her army attacked us at night and many of our best warriors were killed." Varia: "They were the lucky ones." G: "Lucky to die?" – This had to be spelled out, did it.

17) Marga: "Our law says Eve must die." G: "I can't let that happen, Marga." Marga: "Are you challenging me." G: "If it comes to that, I am challenging you." Marga: "That Roman did save my life, and we do need Xena. We'll wait until after this is resolved before we deal with her." – Love that Gabrielle takes the lead on this and Xena doesn't say a word.

18) Marga: "Varia! Obey me! Take her to the hut and bind her!" – …I mean...

19) X: "That sword had better be for Ares' men. What Eve did to your people is unforgivable but she is my daughter. And if anything happens to her while she's in your custody, you'll have me to deal with. And trust me...You ain't ready for that." – God damn that’s an awesome line.

20) Eve: “If only they knew how sorry I am." X: "I know how hard it is to say you're sorry, especially to someone you love. Gabrielle, when I hit you with my chakram-" G: "Xena it wasn't your fault, it was The Furies. They drove me to try to kill your daughter. I've forgiven you. You should, too." X: "I nearly lost you." – It’s hard watching the writers explain-away “the incident” like this. Wish I could've fit this moment into my one-pager, but it didn't embody the episode. Important though.

21) F/X: "What's the matter? Can't get your rocks off?" Ares: "What?" F/X: It's embarrassing." – Hahahaha! What the fuck.

22) F/X: "You're a pathetic mortal, who couldn't think his way out of a papyrus sack." – Hokey ancient joke.

23) Ares: "No, no, see, you can't talk that way to me anymore, because if it wasn't for mEeEeEeEeEeEeEee!...your little friend and your crazed brat would be dead!" – Hahahahaha

24) Ares: "What are you lookin' at?! Don't look at me! What are you lookin' at?! Do _not_ look at me!" – Love this little bit.

25) X: "Ares, it's The Furies. The Furies! Do you hear me?! They're driving you insane." Ares: "No, it is youUuuUuuUu!..who are driving me insane!” – Excellent, just excellent.

26) Ares: "You don't bring me flowers anymore. No you hate me. You have always hated me! I tried to give you Olympus! I tried to give you everything! But you stabbed me in the back!" X: "We just didn't want the same things." Ares: "Liar! You want it. You want the power, but you're too much of a coward to admit it.” – Wait, but did she really used to bring him flowers, or is he making a joke in the middle of a breakdown? Probably the latter, but a girl can imagine.

27) Ares: “You took it all, you betrayed me. [Laughs] Laugh, come on! But you're not gonna live to enjoy it." – Hahahaha, this is an awesome meltdown by Ares.

28) X: "All right, Ares. This is between you and me." Ares: "Yeah, yeah, Xena. Take a number. I'll get to you." X: "What's the matter, god of war? You afraid of a girl?" – NOICE.

29) X: "You're losing it. Oh, and Ares, gods don't bleed. Care to explain that to your loyal troops?" – TOIGHT.

30) Ares: “I loved you, Xena.” – God, how many times are we going to hear this.

31) Ares: "Mortality stinks not to mention hurts." X: "Yeah, it does sometimes." Ares: "You have got a wicked right jab." X: "Sorry about that." – Is this the episode of everyone just tiddlywinking around cleaning a wound? Xena is doinggg what to Ares’ face?

32) Ares [Brief Sigh]: "It's not the end of the world. Who knows? Maybe as a mortal I can experience something I never could as a god." X: "Like what?" Ares: "Like you." X: "You never give up, do you?"

33) Ares: "I guess I'm finally gettin' to you." X: "You always got to me, but you were bad for me, Ares. You still are." Ares: "Xena, is there even a chance we could be together one day? I don't know, maybe, you know, one in a thousand?" X: "More like one in a billion." Ares: "So you're sayin' there is a chance." – Someone somewhere made a similar joke once and I can’t remember which movie or show it was. Maybe That 70’s Show?…I’ll think of it.

I listened to this song this day, and it...makes sense to me re: Coming Home. Thank you.