ALTERNATIVE TITLE:
"The Evil Dead 2 Episode"
Really enjoyed this episode a lot. It's just gross and messed up and sexy. I loved the shit out of it.
However, let it be known, that on the box set disc, the last chapter of this episode is completely fucked up and unplayable. Like it’s a digital problem with the conversion or something. I had to watch the rest on Hulu, and the version on Hulu seemed somewhat narrow and wonky.
Number of times someone drinks blood in this episode: 4
A note about that beautiful dagger scene, when Gabrielle is about to cross over: As she preps for the other side, Xena tells Gabrielle not to let go of the dagger. In response, Gabrielle tells Xena not to let go of her. This is so deep. What could it even mean, other than, "Stay with me forever, don’t leave me." Thanks, god.
SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.
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EXTRA LOVED:
1) Horse-riding
2) Internal body images
3) Fire, bird, water pane freezes
4) G reacting in her real body and spirit body as Alti fucks with her fake body
5) X gets mad at Yakut
6) X seems to wake up out of nowhere and realizes Yakut is under
7) X’s tricky plan
8) The bones snapping together
9) X beating Alti with her own bones
10) Alti screaming as her bones blow away to dust
11) Obvious, but the dove at the end12) Small but notable part: Chi'ah. This was that actresses only stint on Xena
EXTRA QUOTES:
1) G: "You're happy, Xena." X: "Oh, yeah?" G: "Yeah. You know how I know?" X: "No." G: "'Cause it's the only time you make fun of yourself." X: "Well, maybe I'm happy 'cause I know I don't have to go through this alone."
2) Amarice: "Let me guess. She saw it in some kind of vision." Yakut: "In fact, I did." – Love Yakut’s reply
3) Yakut: "Xena is preparing to do battle with Alti in her realm, but I'm afraid in her condition she won't win." G: "Then I guess I have to convince her to let me go."
4) X: "I have seen Alti rip the hearts out of people that I love. I'm not going to take that chance with you." – I wonder who she's talking about?
5) G: "Alti doesn't want to hurt your baby. She wants it to be born." Amarice: "What does that mean?" X: "Alti wants to steal my baby's soul. She wants to replace it with her own." – Don’t we all.
6) Yakut: "I sense that your heart is not yet fully committed to motherhood." X: "Part of me wants this child so bad, that I'm counting the days till I have it. Another part of me wonders if bringing a child into this world is the right thing to do. It's not even born yet, and already it's suffering." – This is seriously how I feel about having a baby in this world right now.
7) Yakut: "Do you remember the story of the world tree?" X: "Of course. Shaman elders believe that, at the golden navel of the Earth, there is a tree that has more branches than even the gods can count. And on these branches, perch the souls of unborn children." Yakut: "The part I didn't tell you is that when a mother finally accepts what she is about to become, the child will send her a message in the form of a dove." X: "And what does it say?" Yakut: "'Thank you.'" – Is this a pro-life statement? What the fuck is this.
8) Alti: "I've always wanted to be inside of you, Xena." – Jesus CHRIST.
9) Alti: "It's such a pleasure to see you again, Xena or should I call you 'Mommy?'" X: "There aren't many guarantees in life, Alti, but I promise you this. If you harm my child I will hound you. I will hound you throughout all time, in between worlds. I will be your eternal damnation." Alti: "Well, at least we'll be together again." – God, this is good. I miss Alti all the time.
10) Alti: "I have a way that we can both win, Xena. I'll give you the soul of your child. But you must bring me back to the physical world." X: "I can't do that." Alti: "Not by yourself. But if you convince the Amazons to put their minds to it then anything is possible." – Claire Stansfield is so good here.
11) Chi’ah: "As the Amazon protector of the sacred amber, I can only release it to a fellow Amazon, and one of you is not an Amazon. I can see the truth, Amarice, and you dare to come here hiding behind an identity you have not earned." G: "Is it true?" – Really love the simplicity of this line. The way Renee O'Connor says it is gold.
12) G: "Amarice, look, for many years, I walked in Xena's shadow. I wanted to be her. She taught me something. It's warmer standing in the sun." Amarice: "Yeah. Well, you better get going. She's waiting for you." G: "She's waiting for us." – This metaphor is great.
13) X: "This is gonna hurt. You have something that belongs to me." – Love the shit out of this.
14) Amarice: "Xena must think I'm a jerk." G: "I didn't tell her what Chi'ah said." Amarice: "Why not?" G: "Because, I don't think it's true anymore. I have this Amazon necklace, and it's from my tribe. There's a stone on here for all my sisters. I just added another one for you." Amarice: "Thank you." G: "Better hurry. Xena and I are ready." Amarice: "Actually, Gabrielle, um I'm gonna stay here, learn a few things." – I love this departure for Amarice. And Gabrielle is so sweet here.
15) Yakut: "I don't know what to say." X: "What would you say to any friend who was leaving for a time?" Yakut: "You're not like any other friend." – Right? God damn, Xena's awesome.
16) Yakut: "Be careful. It doesn't take a vision to know the child of Xena is gonna be someone to behold. You'll be a target again, and so will your baby." – [SERIES SPOILER:] ..... I love how they make such a fuss over Xena's baby aaaaall season long (seriously the buildup is huge), and the delivery and development of this character (Eve) is so fucking underwhelming. Out of everything on Xena, besides several moments where they could've expounded and banked on Xena and Gabrielle's relationship, she was the biggest missed opportunity. ..... [SERIES SPOILER END]
The thing popping out of the stomach in Spaceballs (1987) is originally a joke on the alien bursting through this same actor's chest in the movie Alien (1979), but Spaceballs is more the guts than chest, so... You're getting Spaceballs, bitch.
Oh, all right, here's the Alien scene as well. It's so good.
In a hilarious twist, the title of this episode is (what I can only assume to be) a reference to "Dem Bones" by the Delta Rhythm Boys, a brilliant, old as fuck song to which we all know the words.
This song doesn't quite capture the horror of this episode, but I did listen to it this day, and ... it was indeed a "Slow Burn" for Alti in the end. Just sayin'.
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