ALTERNATIVE TITLE:
"Genghis Khan ft. Lao Ma's Annoying Children"
Man, this episode just lasted forever, and again, that actress and the Ming T'ien actor are just awful. have little else to say.
This should really go in with subtext, but it's not officially in the episode. Here's a link to Tumblr (sorry). This photo is a kiss cut from the episode between Gabrielle and Lin Qi. I swear to god ... I wonder when this was cut, because I feel like I saw it included on Netflix in 2009. Maybe not.
Side Note: Lin Qi reminds me a bit of the beautiful Patrick Swayze. You might remember Brandon Anthony Wong from The Matrix sequels.
SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.
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1) G: "OK, can I just go to town for food? Who has money?" – This is an awesome line, I don’t care. People say this still today.
2) Lin Qi: "OK, listen up! Move the sandbags below. Gabrielle will tell you where." G: "Thank you."
3) Soldier: "You are now one with the Green Dragon." – This is what I say to myself after a line of horse.
4) Pao Ssu: "And then in turn to an entire legion of warriors all of whom are prepared to die in the dragon's name. What are you prepared to die for, Xena?" X: "Your mother's legacy and your sister's cause!" – You tell ‘em, girl!! Just kidding, they couldn’t think of anything clever for Xena to say, there? Fuck this.
5) K'ao Hsin: "I heard about what happened. Are you all right?" X: "Considering I saw a ghost? Yeah." – Hahhahaha
6) Lin Qi: "You know, we heard Xena traveled with a companion, a storyteller of sorts." G: "I am. I mean, I used to tell stories, but it's been a while." – I love that people have heard of Gabrielle, and know she’s Xena’s companion.
7) Lin Qi: "When you're born with the, a gift of the bard, you die with it." G: "My life's more complicated now." Lin Qi: "I think you're selling yourself short." G: "You don't know me." – This is interesting.
8) Lin Qi: "I know that someone who's willing to die for a cause greater than herself has a merciful heart and that's where all great stories come from." – It appears Lin Qi got all the good lines in this episode.
9) G: "Xena, come on. You're gonna run through the woods and set off explosions?" X: "Thank you. I already have a mother." G: "And you're going to be a mother. It's not just your life that you're risking. We can handle it." X: "I know. Right." – A married couple might have this fight.
10) G: "Xena, even if you can control the power are you prepared to destroy a hundred thousand men?" X: "I don't have any choice." – This is so dumb, I’m sorry.
11) X: "Good luck, Lin Qi." Lin Qi: "With her by my side, how can we lose?" – Xena: "The fuck you just say about my girlfriend?"
12) X: "No, it's not that. The power that I had today wasn't born out of anger. I wasn't even thinking about those men. I was thinking about the people that they wanted to hurt. So, I guess what I said before isn't true anymore. I have seen love end a war." – She was thinking about how much she loved Gabrielle.
The guy stepping on the landmine and dying, and Xena walking out there (pregnant) into more of them to save Joxer, was very English Patient (1996). I'm sorry though; I can't find a clip of the scene I'm talking about.
Listened to this cover of "Wicked Game" by Emika this day. The episode, however, is not worthy.
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