ALTERNATIVE TITLE:
“The Episode Where Lucy Lawless Obviously Had a Baby for Real”
“The Episode Where Lucy Lawless Obviously Had a Baby for Real”
I have decided after a LOT of digging that Sandor is the name of Tharon's captain and he is played by Stephen Finch and not Steven Finch as stated in IMDB. The Steven Finch pictured on IMDB as having played Sandor is a white guy and not in this episode. I may or may not correct this problem myself. We'll see how hard it is.
This is the only Xena episode for this writer and director, and looks like the only episode this season directed by a woman.
I always appreciate a stuntman falling down the stairs. Let's get started.
SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.
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EXTRA QUOTES:
1) Tharon’s Captain: "Get it all, boys! It's not every day you penetrate Aphrodite's sanctum! Now, this is what I call a treasure chest! [Laughs]" – Thanks, god.
2) G: "Who's Tharon?" – First name Charlize, perhaps you’ve heard of her.
3) G: "I can't believe it. Aphrodite succoring the ill." Aphrodite: "I am not! These people give me things because they're grateful!" – This is actually a joke that I didn’t get, because I didn’t know what succoring meant or that it was even a different word than suckering.
4) Daphne: "I'm scared." X: "You're scared." – Haha, this is hilarious if you think about it.
5) Aphrodite: "Boy talk about failure to communicate." G: "Says the god who can't pull off a simple body switch?" – Dude, I loooove Aphrodite and Gabrielle together.
6) Aphrodite: “If we don't get Xena out of Daphne's body by sundown, she's trapped there forever. Plus which, I would miss the big rave at the Gemini Club. Word is, Castor and Pollux themselves are gonna show up. And I hear the band-" G: "What did you say?" Aphrodite: "The part about Xena being trapped forever?" G: "No, about Castor and Pollux.” – Hhshahahaha!
7) G: "If you goons think you're taking her anywhere, then you're dumber than you look." – This is awesome.
8) G to X's body: "I'll be back for you." – A kiss would’ve been nice here, you bastards.
9) Galantis: "They were your Mother's favorite. Well, come on now, we can't eat flowers." – You can in Stardew.
10) G: "It's hanging below his belt." Aphrodite: "Yeah, I noticed." G: "The oil, Aphrodite."
11) X: "It may not seem fair, but you're gonna have to grow up a little faster than you thought. It's just you and your dad, now. You're gonna have to learn to take care of each other." – This is Xena speaking from when she had no father.
12) Daphne: "What about your dad?" X: "What about him?" Daphne: "What's he like?" X: "He's dead." Daphne: "Do you miss him?" X: "I never really knew him. He wasn't a very good man from all the stories I've heard, but I guess I, um I guess I miss the idea of him." – This is awesome and the most interesting thing about this episode, but I thought Ares was maybe Xena’s dad. Maybe she’s sparing Daphne that story.
13) X: “What happened to her is a terrible, terrible thing, but even if she'd known she was going to die, she would have done it anyway because she loved you that much. Do you see?" Daphne: "How do you know?" X: "Hey I'm about to be a mother, too, and if you were my little girl, I would trade my life for yours in a heartbeat." – OK, again, why is Xena acting like this is her first baby. The appropriate sentence here should’ve been, “I’m a mother, I know these things.” Have these writers not watched the fucking show?
14) X as Daphne: "Then we'll have to split up. Aphrodite go get my body. Meet us at the castle as soon as you can." Aphrodite: "No problem." X as Daphne: "I've got a feeling this one's gonna be close."
15) G: "Hello! My little girl is selling junior Amazon cookies." – Hahahahaha WTF This is hilaaarious.
16) X: "Daphne, I'm going to let you take over now. You and your father have got a few things to talk about. Go on. You can do it." – Could this not have waited until they were, oh I don’t know, NOT right in the middle of a jailbreak? Stupid.
17) Daphne: "You're the best friend I ever had." X: "I hope I have a kid just like you." Daphne: "Will I ever see you again?" X: "Of course you will. Just look in the mirror." – They barely know each other, BUT a cute thing to say at the end.
Watching Gabrielle drag Xena’s body by herself was like watching Conan: The Barbarian (1982) and the Wheel of Pain, one of my most favorite movie scenes of all time:
Speaking of two people in one body, All of Me (1984) is the most famous instance of that I can think of:
The day I watched this episode, I listened to this song. It was dope.
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