My Time at the 2010 Xena Convention

I was going to use today's post to talk about Xena stuff, such as how much I love Xena and how excited I am to talk about Xena, but it occurred to me that tomorrow is supposedly the last annual Xena convention (which I will be missing). So. I'm going to use this time instead to reflect upon my one and only experience with a Xena convention.

In November of 2009, at the age of 32, I began watching Xena in its entirety for the first time. When I learned about the upcoming 2010 Xena Convention through my friend Jolisa's aunt Judy, coupled with what I'd seen of Xena (I think I was up to season 5 at the time), I had to go. I was near to finishing all the episodes, when I attended the convention in January of 2010 in Burbank, California.

My best friend Luscious L, whom I mentioned in a previous post, lives in California with her husband, Curtis. I try to visit them about once a year. Since Luscious L and Curtis don't live far from Burbank, I made them an offer they couldn't refuse: I'd buy our tickets to the convention, if they drove. It didn't take long to get an answer; they were totally down.

On a side note, I am not making up these "J" names. I seriously have a million friends whose first names start with "J." Look at your own friends and tell me if you find the same.

Alright - Xena. California. Road trip.

Here's my computer print-out convention ticket. It's nothing to write home about, but I saved it nonetheless.

Now, I'm not one to "go" to conventions. K? I'm not a big scifi fan or anything like that. I mean, I am, but not enough to attend a convention as such. The 2010 Xena Convention represents the first and only time I've ever gone to a convention for love of a TV show. I've never been to a comic con or anything of that nature. The closest thing I can think of is, this one time, when I was about 13, I went to a cat convention with my mother - my idea. Other than that, I've been to tons of concerts, straight plays, and musicals, but a Xena con is not the same thing, now is it?

I had a total blast at XenaCon 2010. (Can I call it that? XenaCon? XenaCon.) I mean, I tried to remain calm, but the moment I walked through the door, I felt a kinship with everyone there and was so fucking excited, I almost peed in my pants. I picked a really good day to go, too. Not only did I get to see Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor speak and do a short play, I met and took a picture with Hudson Leick. I could post the picture, but that would ruin my sense of anonymity. Should I post it? It's, like, the most awesome picture in the world.

I happened to run into Jolisa's aunt Judy. She's a huge Xena fan and has never missed a XenaCon. As soon as I saw her, she offered to let me pose with her and Hudson as part of her pre-purchased photo shoot. I immediately dumped Luscious L and Curtis (they totally understood) to stand in line with Judy. "Hold my poster," was the only instruction I gave them, followed by, "Whatever you do, don't let anything happen to my poster." Then I left and stood in line with Judy and her veteran XenaCon friends.

Before the portrait took place, the girls and I rapped for about an hour nonstop about Xena, getting drunk at the con at night, Katherine Fugate, and the last two episodes of the series. I was totally in my element. It was like making out for the first time; it felt that right.

Finally, Judy and I took our celebrity picture with Hudson Leick, who is a total sweetheart and even more beautiful in person, as if that were possible. Everyone is even more beautiful at a XenaCon than you can imagine.

After the shoot, I reunited with Luscious L and Curtis. They said, "How was it?" I said, "Where's my poster?" They both went wide-eyed, because, of course, they lost it! They actually forgot my poster outside on the terrace while one of them smoked a cigarette. Luckily, I flew out there like a pterodactyl and found it sitting quietly in a chair, just as they'd left it. ...Let's talk about the poster. 

Vintage Xena poster!

Is this poster not fucking awesome? I'm so lucky to have found it. There was this guy selling them in the merchandise area of the convention. He only had a few. The weight of the paper is pretty thick and you can tell from the wear and tear on the edges and old tape marks on the back that the poster once hung somewhere. I cherish its oldness. One day, when I have a hundred-room home, I'll have a Xena room, probably next to my Arnold Schwartzenegger room, and this poster will hang therein. Here be a list of a few things I particularly love about this poster:

1) First of all, if you'll look in the upper, right corner, Xena is introduced as a spin-off of Hercules. We all know that after Xena got going, it stood on its own and needed no help from anybody.

2) Xena is wearing her old armor from the introductory Hercules episodes.

3) There's not yet any mention of Gabrielle and Renee O'Connor, who was very much a figurehead for Xena at the end of the series.

4) "Every Man's Fantasy" - Ha! I love that shit! This poster is amazing. It's so "fresh."

5) That's all I got, but I didn't want to end on #4.

As you can see, these tell-tale signs indicate that this promotional poster was printed at the very beginning of the series, probably before episode #1 even aired.

If you're interested, one can usually find this poster for sale online somewhere, such as Ebay, and they're not too expensive, which is shocking. I would've given triple what I paid for it. A different variant of this poster exists, but I can't find it online right now... What I also like about this poster is seeing Lucy Lawless' and Robert Tapert's names so close together when they weren't yet romantically involved. God, I love everything about this show.

While I was bought the poster, Curtis purchased a hard-to-find Return of the Living Dead soundtrack from one of the vendors. During our long, dangerous drive back down to south California, following the convention, we listened to the possibly-bootlegged soundtrack repeatedly. The above Living Dead video was the perfect theme song for the convention and our journey as a whole. I'd say we listened to it about 50 times on the highway in the pouring rain.

Below, I've posted some of my... inferior... pictures of Hudson Leick, Lucy Lawless, and Renee O'Conner speaking at the con. The quality is disgraceful. It's just that I was technologically unprepared, and I was so excited and worked up that I didn't think to move around for better shots. These were taken February 5th, 2010. Spartacus was about to come out. (I was told by Judy that Lucy Lawless oftentimes doesn't make the cons because of work, so, in retrospect, I'm surprised she was able to come.) 

Hudson Leick

Hudson Leick spoke with absolute contempt and disregard for the crowd, which everyone ate up, myself included. She talked for a little while and... I'm just going to say it; she's not too different from her character, Callisto, on Xena. She's so much fun and just really doesn't give a fuck. She looks just as she did on the show, if not better. Smoking hot body, long blonde hair. Then she did her famous Callisto scream, which sort of embarrassed me. I loved it, and I know Luscious L and Curtis had no idea what the hell was going on. Made me wish I'd been alone, almost.

During the convention, we sort of befriended these two adorable, young girls sitting to our left. They couldn't have been more than 13 years old and were ecstatic to be there. I was more shocked by the amount of men and young kids there than anything. I mean, I was with a man myself, so I guess it shouldn't have been too shocking. There were old and young alike. Other than that, the crowd was exactly what you might've expected; peppered with many a butch lesbian.

Lucy Lawless

There was this fun thing that everyone was invited to do, where one could line up and ask Lucy Lawless questions. All of the questions and the people asking them were awesome. I loved that the convention organizers organized it, and I loooved hearing Lucy speak. I'm hypnotized by her sweet Kiwi accent, as I'm sure everyone is. It blows my mind that she disguises it so well on Xena. Plus, she always pulls out all of these precious sayings, like, "Ooo, that's a fresh one," regarding a fan's question that she'd never heard before.

The question in question was actually my favorite question, asked by a young man, "When you dream, do you ever dream of yourself as Xena?" It was such a good question and you could tell she enjoyed being asked that. She couldn't remember if she had or not. Then the poor dude had to go and embarrass himself by asking if he could hug her. She declined. I don't blame her, but I digress.

Back to her talking: if you don't already know this, Lucy Lawless is veeery smart and well-spoken. Like seriously. Very intelligent. So, sitting there while she controlled the crowd with her mesmerizing prose was quite an honor, and I wasn't the only one who felt that way. More on this later.

Renee O'Connor & Lucy Lawless

When ROC joined Lucy onstage, they did this short, two-person play. Lucy Lawless said that a lot of people had requested over the years that they do one, so she went to a playbook store and picked out a play herself.

Watching them was hilarious. You could tell they had a blast performing it. The play itself was slightly perverted and fucked up. One could say it was a "dark comedy." Wish I could remember the title. Everyone loved it to pieces, and I nearly came in my seat. They were just wonderful, stand-up people, smart, and articulate.

ROC wore the sexiest pair of black leather pants I've ever seen, which you can kind of see in the above picture. You should really Google "2010 Renee O'Connor Xena Convention" for a better look. Her body doesn't quit, because she's Gabrielle, the Battling Bard of Potidaea. Neither of their bodies quit, but Lucy Lawless wasn't wearing black leather pants.

In summary, to give you an idea of the impact a XenaCon can have: Luscious L and Curtis have never watched Xena, could care less about the show and its participants. They only went because I bought their tickets and invited them and they'll try anything once. During the drive home, I was sitting next to Luscious L, who was sort of quiet after we left. Early into the drive, every few minutes or so, she would turn to me and say, "I can't believe we saw Lucy Lawless. That's a really big deal." She seemed to say it to herself as if in wonder. I smiled at her every time, because it was an admission. Though I was elated to see Lucy Lawless, I never came to Luscious L's revelation, because I already knew it was a big deal, going in.

The point is, the convention and seeing Lucy speak affected Luscious L more than it did me, which I didn't think was possible.

As a Bonus:

10 Reasons Why You Should Attend XenaCon 2012
10) 10 of the World's Strangest Conventions: http://www.oddee.com/item_97122.aspx
9) You get to travel to California.
8) You will laugh very hard.
7) You can party at night with nothing but Xena fans. Think about it.
6) You will make new friends. Keepers.
5) Pictures, autographs, merchandise, and other fun shit.
4) The writers of your favorite episodes speak.
3) Hudson Leick and aaaall of your favorite supporting actors will be there.
2) Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor will be there.
1) It's the very last one. Ever. In Burbank, California. Do it for the good of mankind, but most importantly, do it for yourself, girl.