Back Under The Wagon

I know a bit of time has passed since my last post, but I have a good excuse (not that anyone's even reading this right now.)

In the span of.. what? 3 months?.. I've managed to have a birthday, endure Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with little fanfare, receive several eviction notices, start a new job and attend a funeral. I don't tread this world lightly.

Let's talk about my near-eviction, which has been a real pain in the clam. First of all, you see this?:

Old Lady Cart

It can kiss my ass. Everything can kiss my ass. What you see here, folks, is what we like to refer to as an "old lady cart." Commonly sighted in all five boroughs of New York City, the old lady cart traces its origins all the way back to ancient Mesopotamia, at which time they became "handy" when elderly women purchased more items at the market than their load-bearing shoulders could handle. This silly pushcart has been the center of my life struggle since October when my friend Jasmine moved to California. She left it to me, and I despise it. 

I know many who own and use one, which is fine, but I find them more of a hindrance than a help. Because yeah, your stuff's in the cart all right, but you still have to schlep that fucker up and down the stairs and deal with it in the subway. I'd rather just carry bags on my shoulders. But mainly, I hate it for these three reasons:

1) It serves as a constant reminder that my closest friend in New York now lives on the other side of the country. 

2) It always brings to mind how close I was to being homeless. Eviction was so near that I had to keep the handcart around in case I needed it to move a small section of my belongings into a friend's home at a moment's notice. 

3) There's nowhere to put it, so I trip over it often, usually in the middle of the night on the way to the can. 

The point is, I'm throwing that dinky thing away today, because I am no longer in danger of being kicked out of my apartment. What's amazing about NYC, and I guarantee you this, is that someone will snap this piece of shit up from the trash quicker than (drum roll) a New York minute.

On a separate but related note, if you have any questions about evading eviction in NYC, please let me know. I'm now an expert in that arena.

So. My rent is finally current and I'm ready to watch some Xena. God, I am so. frickin'. excited. The DVDs arrive in a week or so. Up 'til that point, I'm going to try to post daily some pre-Xena topics before I view episode #1. The day the box set comes, I will take the next logical step and make a photographic documentary of the unveiling. I know the packaging will be amazing.