Xena: Season 5, Episode 13: "Eternal Bonds"

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:
“Joxer Almost Dies”

What a nice, quiet, sexy episode, especially for Ares. A lot of subtext here, lot of pain for Joxer. Just when I thought these episodes couldn’t get any deeper, this one (and the next) are just all up in there. Man, Xena is getting dark. I forgot how intense the twilight of the gods was.

Can I just say, that Gabrielle is all the way “with” Xena right now? She’s not turning back on that in any capacity these days, though the same can not be said for Xena, which is annoyingly, carelessly contradictory to her character in the past.

I need to go back and examine previous episodes to determine at which point Gabrielle became absolutely committed to Xena. Was it this season? The previous? 

Since these episodes are all about killing Eve and there's now a fucking amazing show on BBC America called Killing Eve, I need to ask if anyone (LESBIANS) are watching it. If not, you should be...That's all I'll say.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRA SUBTEXT

1) Gabrielle, I'm starting to sense, is completely devoted to Xena. It's odd the writers are doing this to her, while Xena can't seem to control herself. Because of course, women lose their minds when they're gay and suddenly have a baby.

2) G: "Take care of your mom." X: "Of course, she will." – Feels like G saying to X, “I want to take care of you, be careful.” This is something a soldier would say to her kid about her wife before she goes off to war. This actually belongs in subtext but it doesn’t fit.

3) Joxer: "Us. How come there was never an 'us,' Gabrielle?" G: "Why do people love the people that they do? I don't know." Joxer: "I know why. Because you made me feel special." G: "You are special." – When he says, “I know why,” Gabrielle has a look on her face like he’s about to say, “because you’re in love with Xena.” Then she looks relieved when she realizes he didn’t get it and is out of it.

EXTRA QUOTES:

1) G: "You just don't realize that your actions have consequences, like, like this wound, for instance." Joxer: "I got it tryin' to help you, you know?" G: "No, I didn't need your help. If you had just stopped to think about that, you would have seen. No, you just go charging in there." Joxer: "Well, fine. Maybe I won't charge in next time." G: "That's my point. I don't want you to." – I love that they keep coming back to this with more intensity.

2) G: "Xena, let's just say that he's not poisoned. Then I would be leaving you and Eve alone for nothing." X: "Are you willing to gamble Joxer's life on that?!" – Gabrielle didn’t answer. Oh my god, the answer was “YES,” this is so intense.

3) X [X's hums, a branch cracks somewhere behind her]: "You know, it never fails. Every time you sit down to eat...Don't worry. I'll keep it warm for you." – Hahahaha!

4) X: [After kicking everyone’s asses, she says to Eve] "And that's how we do it.” – This is such a cute line.

5) Ares: "Thanks to that kid of yours, I am dying. So, why would I lie?" X: "Because you're Ares. You always lie." – Love the way she says this line. She's just so over it.

6) X: "You forget, I fight against scum like you." Ares: "Then, so will I. A fight is a fight, no matter which side you're on." – This line might be Ares’ best, truest dialogue.

7) X: "Get the hell away from my baby." Ares: "I swear. I won't harm her." X: "That's right. You're not gonna harm her." Ares: "How did we ever let things get this way between us?" X: "Well, could it have been when you used the furies to drive me insane? Or, when you turned yourself into my father, just to torment me? Or, was it coming-" Ares: "Yeah-" X: "-on to my best friend?" Ares: "Enough said.” – OMG, I love this. Also, “Or was it coming-on to my girlfriend?” Because…who the fuck cares if someone comes on to your best friend? Unless they’re talking about Xena being in love with Ares and hurt that he hit on Gabrielle, but that’s not what’s happening here.

8) G: "Well, that's because-" Joxer: "-we were attacked. We were attacked by a fierce warrior woman, with a, baby." Tira: "Xena?" Joxer: "Right, Xena, you know." Tira: "Where was this?" Joxer: "Um, well, if you really wanna catch here, you should head west." G [Interrupts]: "-east. -West." Joxer [Interrupts]: "-East, I mean. -She was tall." G [Interrupts]: "-She's everywhere." - This is such a classic bit, I love it so. Hahhahaa

9) Joxer: "You're so beautiful, Gabrielle. Did I ever tell you that." G: "You're very ill, Joxer." Joxer: "Hey, I kind of miss your long hair, you know? You used to wear it up, like a princess, or braided like a warrior? And sometimes you'd have it down, and, you'd look like an angel." – I too miss her long hair, but surprisingly love her short hair.

10) X: [To Eve] "And that's how you lay a false trail." – Hahahah

11) Ares: "Every god on Mount Olympus is targeting you. Even now, three temple armies are closing in. Now, all I'm asking, is your word we will be together, and have a child, and I'll make all this go away. I swear." X: "You're asking me to give up the future. Well, I won't do that, even if it means sacrificing my life." Ares: "Even if it means, Joxer's life, or Gabrielle's, or Eve's?" – There it is.

12) Joxer: "Now, who's not thinking? Xena's probably already at the tree, waiting for us." G: "Well, then, she's on her way to find us." Joxer: "Look, we're so far off the trail, she's not gonna know where to look. Gabrielle, why don't you be smart, and think about the people you love?" G: "I am."

13) X: "See, what we gotta do is keep our eyes peeled for a sign. Gabrielle's smart. She'll try to get our attention if she can. Trouble is, the guards would smell a signal fire. Hey. Hey. Guards have ears, too, you know? Otherwise, Gabrielle would be raising a ruckus, so unless you see something that I don't, well... [Follows Eve's line of vision] Why didn't you say something? Told you Gabrielle was smart." – Love that she’s saying all this amazing shit to just the baby, in a baby voice.

14) Joxer: "Us. How come there was never an 'us,' Gabrielle?" G: "Why, why do people love the people that they do? I don't, I don't know." – Wow. She’s obviously saying that they weren’t an “us,” because she loves Xena. Then Joxer doesn’t pick up her meaning and says:

15) Joxer: "I know why. Because you made me feel special." G: "You are special." – When he says, “I know why,” Gabrielle has a look on her face like he’s about to say, “because you’re in love with Xena.” Then she looks relieved when she realizes he didn’t get it and is kind of out of it.

16) G: "Joxer, when you were ill, I said, um-" Joxer: "I know what you said. You said that, you love me, but only as a friend, right?" G: "I do mean that, I-" Joxer: "I know you do. I know you do. But, Gabrielle, I will always love you more than that. And, that's just something I'll have to live with. You know? But that's all right." – Ugh, GOD. That’s heartbreaking and has happened to us all. FUCK.

17) X: "We live our lives the way we do, because someone has to help those who can't help themselves, but is it wrong to expose a child to that kind of violence? That blood?" G: "I think so, but Xena, sometimes it's our only resort, until we find a more effective way of doing it all." X: "Perhaps the greater wrong is never to fight at all, huh? You know what? I think, it doesn't matter where we take a stand, as long as we make one." – This is loaded and nicely done.

Everyone wants to kill Eve. Speaking of which, here's just one awesome song from the TV show Killing Eve. I highly recommend it. Keeping in mind that someone might watch it for the first time from reading this, I'm posting the most non-spoiler-y of my favorite songs...It still feels like a betrayal, and I'm sorry:

I listened to so many good songs this day, but this song most aligns with the feel of this episode. Sort of an ominous topic, but also romantic and urgent. Alphaville - "Summer in Berlin" (1984).

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