Xena: Season 5, Episode 02: "Chakram"

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:

“The Second-Best Episode of Season 5”

Man this episode was really fucking good, too! Everyone is so hot in it; geez, Louise.

The scene of Xena and Gabrielle having just been brought back to life and bewildered was beautiful. I have never seen Xena more beautiful. And the way they were looking at each other, declaring that they would always be together, after having just been to heaven with each other, was so heavy. I can’t believe this is a real Xena episode, just like I can’t believe the one before it. 

Both of these new episodes are so different than previous seasons' episodes. I know what’s coming though. Maybe I’m wrong (but I know I’m not.) 

Number of times someone says “Come on” in this episode: 15 (no shit)

The way Xena looks at Gabrielle when they’re sitting on the slab having just been brought back to life, is so poignant. She’s kind of groggy still, so it’s basically a being or an animal staring at the thing it wants and loves. It’s the way my cats have looked at me sometimes, or how a dog looks at its owner.

This episode is so well-written, that when we see the yin yang with the dark chakram gone, we suddenly know everything about Xena.

Gabrielle gets a new outfit and her sai! This is my favorite change for her out of all of them. Point in case: who's the best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? No contest, it's Raphael. And why is that? Because Raphael's the one with the sai, betch.

Brilliant that Xena lost her evil due to the breaking of the dark chakram. That was DOPE, actually. The new chakram is also dope. Also loved that the light chakram could kill gods! No wonder Ares didn’t give that one to Xena. Also he couldn't pick it up, and if only the pure of soul could pick up the light chakram, that means Ares was able to pick up the dark one because he's evil of soul. Also interesting was that Xena was the one pure of soul enough to pick up the light chakram. More than a monk.

Also very interesting was Ares getting scared of Eli. It symbolizes the “death” of the gods in ancient times upon the arrival of Christianity.

How intense and awkward was it when Joxer professed his love to Gabrielle. Part of me was annoyed the writer did that. Xena and Gabrielle are *together*, GOD DAMMIT.

Some questions I have: Were these two episodes written before the writer change? Were they made before the writer change?

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRA LOVED:

1) Amarice’s familiarity with Xena, such as her saving the broken chakram

2) That Xena is into dresses in this episode

3) The camp scene, all of it

4) Ares removing Xena's manacles

5) Kal and Ares stabbing each other

6) That lightning happens whenever Ares and Kal clash swords

7) That the gang is in the woods watching the lightning from Kal's lair, trying to come up with a plan to rescue Xena, when Xena just appears right in front of them

8) Xena telling Eli that Caleb is dead

9) That Ares is mesmerized by Xena’s body, always

10) Soldier seeing Amarice’s shadow as she walked the tightrope

11) The break-in scene where Gabrielle and Amarice bomb everyone. That was awesome.

12) Xena not being able to kill

13) The dark chakram repairing itself

14) Gabrielle’s glance at Xena after Xena kills Kal

15) Xena sending the chakram in two different directions and catching it

16) Xena flipping the sword into her hands

EXTRA SUBTEXT (EXPLAINED):

1) “Of course you could just kiss the girl.” – Is she saying this, because…she did this to Gabrielle and it worked? Or, if she could, that’s what she would do to Gabrielle? In either capacity, she’s talking about Gabrielle and thinking about what she would do were she in J’s position.

2) And Gabrielle’s reaction to seeing Ares with good Xena is fury. Seeing your girlfriend naked and vulnerable in front of Ares would piss anyone off. Gabrielle says to him, "Only you would take advantage of Xena when she's like this."

EXTRA QUOTES:

1) Eli: "Xena, listen to me. Do you remember anything violent about yourself or about us?" X: "Violent?" – Love that everyone is concerned because she’s NOT violent.

2) Joxer: "I was hoping that with your teachings of love and understanding, you could help me tell her." Eli: "Tell her what?" Joxer: "That I love her." Eli: "You don't need my help. Just speak from your heart." – Love that Joxer is asking for love advice from Jesus.

3) X: "Living with me must have been a nightmare for you." G: "You had your moments." X: "Why did I have to kill them?" G: "Xena, in order to save the girls, you had to get rid of the slavers." – They’re totally talking about episode 1, right? Total nod by Doug Lefler, who directed this episode, as well as Episode 1: “Sins of the Past” and “Family Affair.”

4) G: "It's ironic. Right now, Xena is everything that I always wanted her to be but without her dark side, she's lost she's-she's off-balance. My path is with Xena helping her however I can. I'll do whatever I have to do to protect her." – This was absolutely breathtaking dialogue, and completely true of what happened in “Ides of March”. When she says this is how she’s always wanted Xena to be, it's a brief but deep glimpse into their relationship and how Gabrielle loves Xena. [SEASON SPOILER] I’ll miss this in the future episodes of Season 5. [END SPOILER]

5) Ares: "Hello, Xena. What's a nice girl like you doing in manacles like those?" – This episode is not without jokes!

6) Eli: "Xena, is Caleb dead?" X: "I believe so. Yes." G: "It's such a terrible waste." Eli: "No it's not a waste. I won't let his death be a waste. There's gotta be something in these scrolls that explain all this! I'm gonna find it." – This is what I think about every person who's ever died.

7) Joxer: "Um, Xena you know how I feel about Gabrielle?" X: "Sure, you love her." Joxer: "Right. Um..” – This whole dialogue is interesting. Because Xena lost her darkness, does that mean she forgot her sexual attraction (love) for Gabrielle? The dark part is what loves Gabrielle, sexually.

8) X: "See, right now it's all about getting a response from her. If ya love her, why don't you just tell her? Don't attach any strings to it. Make it unconditional." Joxer: "Yeah, but but what if I I tell her that, and she says `Joxer what are you thinking?'" X: "Joxer no strings. All right?" Joxer: "No strings. Got it." X: "Of course, you could just kiss the girl." Ares: "Interesting offer." – Seems like she has done or is thinking about “no strings” with Gabrielle before. Maybe she doesn’t remember having sex with her, because that was the dark part. I wish we could see the normal Xena responding to Joxer, telling him this shit. I actually don’t like this very much, because it’s like Joxer doesn’t realize they’re together, when I know he knows they are from past episodes. Maybe this is just how all three of them are around each other. Violent Xena is the one that likes Gabrielle. Kinda hot. G said herself, X is lost without her dark side.

9) G: "Xena? Eli f-.. Ares you-" X: "Oh, you know each other?" G: "Your hair is shorter, but you're still the same. Only you would take advantage of Xena when she's like this." Ares: "Like this? What do you mean? Because she can't remember things that make her mad? Things that fill her with hate? Well when did you become so hard?"

10) X: "I can make no sense of this. Whoever you are _whatever_ you are that brought me back like this, I need to know why. I don't know how I'm supposed to be, but the others say that I'm a warrior that I kill so that innocent people may live. They want me back the way that I was. Do you? Is that your plan? Send me a sign. How will I know what's right unless you do?" G: "Xena are you praying?" X: "I can't help wondering if we're doing the right thing. Restoring this darkness, my violence can that really be good?" G: "I think it's vital. I know that sounds strange, coming from me. I think you have to know the darkest part of yourself to be whole." X: "But this way, I harm no one." G: "But Xena, what about the people who harm others? Xena, you have this balance of lightness and darkness. Without both of those the very best in you is defenseless." – Very deep. I love this shit.

11) Joxer: "Gabrielle, um, I, uh, uh can I talk to you for a minute?" G: "Right now?” – Love the way she says "right now."

12) Ares: "Xena? That wasn't your fault. He left you no choice. Give me the chakram.” – “Give me the gun.”

13) Ares: "I don't get you. Why'd you do it?" X: "Do what?" Ares: "Neutralizing the chakram, why'd you balance it? You had the power to kill us all." X: "No one deserves that kind of power, Ares least of all, me." – I’m thinking of my government right now and hating them.

14) X: "The sooner we get started, the sooner we'll get there. Of course, you could always change your mind and come with us." Eli: "I know, but Caleb's scrolls can teach me a lot of things I can't learn anywhere else." X: "Sounds awfully dull." Eli: "Compared to life with you, anything is dull." X: [Laughs] – Love that she laughs so affectionately at that.

15) G: "Joxer-" Joxer: "No, no, no, no. Look," G: "A about what you said," Joxer: "No, no, no, no-" G: "No, no-" Joxer: "-it's all right." G: "-about what you said," Joxer: "It's OK. It's OK. It's just you don't have to say anything. You don't have to say anything. You don't have to say a word. It's just I, um, I wanted to, uh, just let you know. I just wanted to let you know. No strings."

16) G: "It feels so good to be going home." X: "Going home in more ways than one. Thanks, Gabrielle." G: "For what?" X: "For pointing the way back to my rotten old self." G: "It's a pleasure. Did I do that?" X: "I didn't think about it at the time, but when I asked for a sign to show that I was doing the right thing you showed up." G: "Hmm you know what they say? Timing is everything." X: "Yeah. Well not everything." – They are each other’s homes. That’s what she’s talking about.

Who is saving April here? Is it the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Raphael? Or is it Gabrielle? Looks like we'll never know. (Sorry for the bootleg quality.)

Xena bounces back in this episode, reclaiming her title as "The Greatest" of ancient times.

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