Xena: Season 4, Episode 14: "Devi"

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:

"The Exorcist Episode"

Let's face it; it was only a matter of time before the exorcist episode.

The massages this season are out of control. OUT OF CONTROL. This is two episodes in a row and the 3rd or 4th occurrence this season.

Something interesting I noticed at the end of this episode: Eli hugs Xena but not Gabrielle.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

EXTRA QUOTES:

1) X: "Don't get me wrong the gods know I've done stranger things, but yoga's just not for me." G: "That's all right. When you're crippled and old, and I'm doing headstands, I'll remind you of this." X: "Oh, I bet you will." – Cute and funny. Crippled and old? That's gay.

2) Eli: "Well, then, how'd she do it? The demon how'd she cast it out?" X: "I don't know." – I love that Xena thinks about this for a second before answering, almost like she’s sharing the same bewilderment.

3) G: “Xena, something happened to me. And I've been trying to think of how to tell you." X: "What? What happened?" G: "I did it. Xena, I healed someone. A man came to me. He had lost his eye. Xena, I brought back his sight." X: "Gabrielle " – I am a slave to this dialogue.

4) G: "Why don't we travel with you for a while?" Eli: "No, really. I'll be fine." G: "I don't think you should be alone." Eli: "You know? I don't think I am." – Ok, "Jesus."

OVERTLY GAY QUOTES:

1) Tat/G: "Ha! Not anymore. [Laughs] An exorcism?! Really, Xena? Now, don't you think that's the pot calling the kettle ? You want me out? You're gonna have to kill this sweet, little body to do it. I don't think you can." X: "Watch me." – Not sure what but there’s something gay in there.


2) X: "I'm warning you, Tataka get out while you still can." Tat/G: "And give up this face? And this firm strong, body? Fat chance!" – Tataka also might be a lesbian teasing Xena ... But she probably knows it's killing Xena to see her girlfriend possessed.

Gabrielle in full-blown Tataka mode reminds me of Siouxsie Sioux of Siouxsie & the Banshees: 

 

Eli prays to Abba. Well, so do I.

I'm sorry for posting this clip from Conan the Barbarian (1982) for several reasons, among them a camel getting punched, but the segment reminds me of Xena and Gabrielle tooling around the village in "Devi": 

Some sick shit I was listening to the day I watched this beauty:

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Xena: Season 4, Episode 13: "Paradise Found"

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:

"The Yoga Episode"

This episode was definitely made as though Gabrielle and Xena are a couple or soulmates. There were a lot of eyebrow-raising moments. I actually really like this episode a lot, but I don't know if it's a favorite. We'll see.

There is a lot lately of Xena watching Gabrielle become interested in others and other things, and her watching her with these people in a sad way. There’s a lot of Gabrielle leaving her and her leaving Gabrielle to save her. It's both fascinating and heartbreaking.

There's also a lot of massaging going down these days. 

I made this note before watching: "It is going to probably start storming during this episode." Indeed, I believe it did. January 3rd, we had a bomb cyclone in New York City. It was awesome.

There's the scene in the bathtub, where Xena kind of goes insane and squeezes Gabrielle's hand to the point of breaking. That's like something we would see in The Sopranos or Six Feet Under.

At 31:20: There's a piece of fan art I love. I've always wondered which episode it was from. It's of Gabrielle after that knockout massage Xena gave her.

I wish they would’ve shown Xena and Gabrielle asleep next to each other, just once, on that god damn yin-yang bed.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRA QUOTES:

1) G: "I was skeptical until I tried it. It was incredible I realized I never came to terms with my failure as a mother. I kept the guilt in my heart." – Come on, didn’t you roll your eyes just a little bit at this line?

2) X: "No, I would never hurt Gabrielle." Aiden: "You say that and you even believe it but if the darkness in you wins, no one is safe not even the people that you love. You take it from somebody who knows. You get out before it's too late for both of you."

3) Garr: "Aidan! It's all him! He makes everyone so still he leeches their goodness, goodness in a perfect place, going to waste without evil to keep it alive and fighting." – So this is really deep. Aiden takes away the evil, and when he does, the goodness dies, because there is no good without evil. Gabrielle dies without Xena. Yin dies without yang.

4) Gar: "No, you can't! I mean if you do that, what's to stop you killing us all, even Gabrielle?" X: "One thing, Pops: you." – Ha! Pops.

5) Aiden: "Now, sink deeper and deeper. Now, sink down. Be still, still as stone, still as death." X: "Let her go!" – This is very Get Out.

6) G: "I learned something about myself, and you." X: "Yeah?" G: "I sometimes talk about your darkness like it's some sort of disease. But without it, neither one of us would be here. It's kind of ironic." X: "Yeah." G: "Do I really have hands like a sailor?" – Xena is the darkness, Gabrielle is the light. They fit together perfectly. I love the fact they spelled this out so blatantly. "They're one."

THIS EPISODE’S GAYEST LINES:

1) G: "What happened? Xena, I fell down a a hole." X: "Yeah, what is it with you and holes, huh?" – God damn, this is so fucking gay.

2) X: "Aw, Zeus, you don't really like this guy? That's it, isn't it? You like him. I should have known." G: "That's not it." – The way Xena says this is so biting. She's jealous. How many times has she been jealous this season, it's amazing.

3) G: "For someone who's seen what Lao Ma and Alti can do, it's strange you're not curious about Aiden." X: "I've seen enough to know that most people can't handle spiritual powers. And Aiden is no Lao Ma." – What's the difference? Aiden is a man. And Xena is probably remembering how hers and Lao Ma's relationship went.

4) Garr: "Garr, reporting as ordered with clothes, sir." X: "Sir?" – Seriously bewildered about the looks passed between Gabrielle and Xena here. Are we supposed to take it as just, oh he messed up, she's not a sir. Or are we supposed to be like, what is he seeing to come to that conclusion?

5) G: "It's a knot right there." X: "Oh, yeah I can feel it. Lie down, I can fix this." – Massages always lead to more.

6) X: "We've come a long way, the two of us." G: "A long way." X: "Lie down ... And you've taught me a lot about kindness and mercy, and love." – Wish I could’ve put this on my score page, but honestly there was no room, and ... I forgot about it when I was putting stuff in there. It should definitely be in there.

Here's another Aidan you might remember (and love):

Seriously couldn't find the nosebleed scenes on youtube for Less Than Zero and Heathers, so here's one from The Ring (2002): 

Xena in monster form actually looks like the amazing doll account I follow on Instagram. The artists are the Popovy Sisters.

I think this song "Hunger" by Rhye comes close to capturing the gay passion of this episode and I listened to it January 3rd, 2018:  

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Xena: Season 4, Episode 12: "If the Shoe Fits..."

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:

“The Cinderella Episode”

All right! Good stuff here, funny god damn episode. It's not a favorite or the best thing I've ever seen ... I gave it a five and am wondering if I should change it to a six.

There’s a piece of fan art that I’ve always thought was from an episode in Season 6. It’s from this with Gabrielle as the Princess during Joxer's telling of Cinderella.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRA QUOTES:

1) X: "Uh. Oh, I hate that. It's late. Gabrielle? Gabrielle? Oh, the one morning I ask you to wake me up for a change.” – God, in how many eps does Xena say "I hate that?"

2) X: “Just when I get Zantar right where I want him I go and oversleep. Well, thank you very much!” – Hahahaha

3) G: "I woke up. I took a bath. I know I put my shirt on that tree. It's just gone. It doesn't make any sense ... unless an animal took it. You know? A-a-a fashionable beaver or, or ... oh, you didn't." X: "Gabrielle. I was in a hurry. We ran out of rope." – This whole thing is funny.

4) X: "The good news is you found something else to wear." G: "It's a sack!" X: "How come you let Joxer sleep in so late?" G: "I was topless." – Funnyyyyyyy

5) Aphrodite: "Now look what you've done! Ooh, you monster! I told you never to play with the bottle marked passion! It's totally explosive stuff!" – Hhhahahaaha

6) X: "Listen, I was in your shoes too, once. I had a stepfather and I never got to know him. Now, I think that was a terrible mistake. Gabrielle, are you all right?" G: "Fine. What's this about a stepfather? You never told me that." X: "Yes, I did. Didn't I?" G: "No." X: "Well, it's not important.” – Holy shit, WHAT. Also, this is really gay.

7) X/Evil Stepmother: "Pelia, come here, sweetie." – Lucy Lawless, I think, calls people "sweetie" in real life. Remember in BSG when she did it? Fucking hilarious.

8) X/Stepmother: "There's a crease in Pelia's dress. Aren't you forgetting something?" G/Tyrella: "I swept the floor, washed the dishes, cleaned the attic, weeded the garden. I dug you a new well. I've been terribly busy." – I just love the way Gabrielle says this.

9) Alesia: "Tyrella takes the (toe nail) clippings " Joxer: "Mm-hm?" Alesia: "and stabs her evil stepmother over and over and over and over again." G: "N-no no. Tyrella deals with her problems in-in a more positive way." – This is so fucked up and funny.

10) A/Stepmother: "Whoo! Time for a breather. But if ya can't take the heat, boys stay outta my kitchen. Hmm, Pelia where are you, my vixen?" X/Pelia: "I'm here, Mother. I'm as dry as a lizard. Where's the hagster to bring us some beverages?" – So much to unpack here, but mainly Aphrodite calling Xena a vixen.

11) X: "Stop right there!" Joxer: "Oww." Tyrella: "Hmm?" A/Stepmother: "Hmm?" Zantar: "Aah, it was just gettin' good!" X: "Don't say another word. Aphrodite I thought you were out of this." – This is the moment I realize how funny Zantar is. Great writing.

12) J/Tyr: "Thanks, Stepbrother dear." Zantar/Stepfather: "Don't be an idiot, idiot. You can't wear that. You've got no way to get there no social skills to speak of. In short you're not going." – "Idiot, idiot." Brilliant.

13) G/Princess: "You dance divinely." Joxer/Tyr: “I know.”

14) X: "Why did you run away?!" Alesia: "Have you ever heard Joxer tell a story?" X: "Well, that's a good point." – Any chance to dog on Joxer!

15) X: "Tyrella had a stepfamily all right, but no one pushed her around. One day, Tyrella was busy sharpening her sword, when ..." – Hahahahahaa

16) X: "Just leave them in there a while, a few days ought to do it." – Xena smartly leaving Alesia and her stepmother in a locked room together.

17) G: "Aphrodite?! I know you can hear me! Woop! Sorry! Whoop! Clumsy me!" Aphrodite: "OK! Chill the `tude, Miss Thing, I'm here." – Ha! All it takes is destroying a statue of Aphrodite to get her to appear.

18) Zantar: "Now we have a little insurance in case Xena gets in our way." X: "Nice plan if I cared." Joxer: "She cares. She's just kidding. Ha-ha! Ha! You're not laughing." – How many times has Xena feigned disinterest in Joxer to protect him? Also, I love the "if I cared" line.

XENA AND GABRIELLE'S GAY DIALOGUE:

1) X/Evil Stepmother: "Can't you do anything right?" G/Tyrella: "There is nothing wrong with the dress. Your anger is misplaced. It's a convenient way to avoid your deeper emotions the same way that your mistreatment of me and my belongings is your way to avoid intimacy. You both need to get in touch with your inner child." – This is so deep. I love that it's just thrown into this B-level episode. I can't even fully dive into what this means.

2) X: "Still mad at me? Tell ya what: I'll cook, you go on with your story."

3) G: "After all we've been through, that's what you think of me? The fairy godssister of dishes? Xena that's my only use to you? You have no idea how useful I am. I'm out of here that's it. I need space." X: "Gabrielle." – Ugghahh!!

I wish I could find the scene from Rambo (1982) when Sylvester Stallone fashions a poncho out of a burlap sack like Gabrielle does in this episode, but alas no one cherishes anything on the internet.

Who does this sound like? Where did Cher from Clueless (1995) get this from?

Pretty much Aphrodite's entire vocabulary is taken from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990):

The steady hand of Alesia's delivery reminds me of this little girl in The Man with Two Brains (1983):

A sorta goofy-ish song I listened to on the same day I watched this:

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Xena: Season 4, Episode 11: "Daughter of Pomira"

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:
“The Emerald Forest Episode”

Another good episode, though not a favorite, but I still enjoyed it. Eerily, like all these epiodes lately, very relevant to current political climate.

Number of times: 

• Someone’s in a tree: 3 
• Milo says he loves X: 2 (One is a marriage proposal! Aaiieeee!!!)
•  

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRA QUOTES:

1) Milo: "Oh, you said it yourself years ago the only good Horde is a dead Horde. Words to live by." – Sounds like he’s saying “whore.” It seems like they went back and told him to emphasize that “d.”

2) X: "Good. That's good. But it's not why we're here." – Love this delivery.

3) Milo: "Your loss. But when you're tracking them and they suddenly vanish don't come begging me to find them for you." X: "It's a deal. Now, beat it." G: "Can you believe him?" X: "Gabrielle, I was him. If it wasn't for you and one word I'd be there, now." G: "'Kaltaka.'" X: "You trust your heart, and and I respect that, but taking Vanessa could stir up a whole lot of trouble."

4) Milo: "Stupid savage! You should have left her where you found her. More Horde than human." – This is something like Hitler would say.

5) Adiah: "The Horde is coming?" G: "No that's not what she meant." X: "Yes, it was.” – Love this.

6) Bearded Man: "I say we give her back to the Horde!" – This is such a cartoon delivery.

7) X: "Cirvik loves her. I saw it in his eyes, and I heard it in his voice." G: "You know, you'd think I'd learn not to meddle with families." – What the fuck does this mean? I've pondered it for hours.

8) X: "You know, this thing has really come in handy, lately.” – She’s talking about the bull whip. Are we sure she didn’t say "really coming handy?" It could be my brain tricking me, but it seems like she’s merging words lately.

9) Milo: "A Horde is a Horde, whatever their age." – To me, this reads: Horde = Jew.

10) X: "I hate that." – how many times has x said this in the last few episodes?

11) X: "No, Gabrielle, because of you, Raul and Adiah now know that their daughter is alive and happy instead of dead like they thought. And because of you, Vanessa now has two loving homes and and because of you, for the first time ever, there's peace between us and the Hor-.. the Pomira." G: "I did all that?" X: "Mm-hm." G: "And they call you the hero?"

POLITICAL CORNER:

1) Vanessa: "Many will die." X: "On both sides. But you can stop that, Pilee."

2) X: “Vanessa is the only one who can communicate with both sides." – We sure could use her right now.

3) Xena ends up killing Milo, which is the normal response to a Nazi.

You need only but watch The Emerald Forest (1985) trailer below to see how I settled upon the alternative episode title, the way I did.

This episode also heavily nods to Dances with Wolves (1990):

This is exactly the way Rahl responded to Vanessa's cleanin' up nice:

The XX's "Loud Places, a song I jammed out heavily to the day I watched this episode.

 


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