Xena: Season 3, Episode 16: "When in Rome..."

This episode was good. I almost gave it six stars, but I think there was room for improvement. It would've been better, if the director had capitalized on important moments, instead of rushing through them like afterthoughts. This was actually a loaded episode, information-wise.

I could've used more weight in the moments where Gabrielle and Xena talked, especially re: Gabrielle killing someone. They felt rushed and even phoned-in, which is unfortunate, as these are the most serious circumstances since "The Bitter Suite" and "One Against an Army." I mean, for gods' sake, Gabrielle decided that someone should die. That's huge. And here's Xena at the end, acknowledging, offhandedly, that it's only going to be more of the same, and that Gabrielle is the most important thing to her. 

Also, like "King Con," little was clear. Like, perhaps it's because I'm sick with the flu, but I got so confused. Was Xena really going to kill Caesar, or was she just posturing as part of her plan? Maybe she needed to get caught and was always going to keep her word to Gabrielle. Like was she counting on Pompey to give her that knife? I don't know, just as a regular viewer, I was confused, and that's never a good sign.

I love the historical references in Xena. In real life, Crassus was dead at this point, so "When in Rome..." is totally a "What if?" story, kind of like The Man in the High Castle... which feels dangerously familiar to our current situation and scares the shit out of me. And I can't tell you how many times I've almost written "Trump" instead of "Caesar" today.

About this imperial ring; back in the day, high-ranking officers and government totally had these gold rings. Hannibal used to collect them from Roman officers and clergy as he beat them in battle. Depicted in this statue by Sébastien Slodtz, Hannibal counts an urn overflowing with the gold rings of his conquered.

A dependable episode by Steven Sears, but not his best.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRAS:

1) G: “Triumvirate? What is that?” X: “Three warlord rulers instead of one.” Crassus: “Warlords! Far from it. It’s politics. It’s all about-” X: “Power. Nothing more. Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus share control of Rome and its provinces.” — See this is like today’s government: Trump, Bannon, and Manafort will share control of America and its states. Who's our Brutus?

2) G: “You’re wrong.” Crassus: “Am I? Have you ever seen Xena around him? Her judgment gets a little impaired and others suffer.” — Oh my god, has Gabrielle not seen Xena around Caesar?? Maybe I should rewatch everything from beginning to end.

3) Caesar: “I’ve already planned a little party for this evening to show off Vercinix. I’d like you to accompany me without your weapons, of course.” — Why does Xena have to go with him? Plot device.

4) G: “Do your soldiers have something against murdering innocent people?” Crassus: “Innocent? There are no innocents on a battlefield.” — Tell that to the civilians in Syria.

5) Caesar: “Prison hardly seems the place to tell you this, but you look incredible. Roman finery becomes you.” — Hahahaha

6) JC: “It’s never just business between us, Xena. It’s hatred, war, conflict and it’s love.” X: “I gotta go to the bathroom. Are we done yet?” — The old Xena wouldn't have been able to do this. GREAT.

7) X: “You need to be in place before the games begin. If I’m right, the execution will be the finale.” G: “I wanna talk about this.” — It's very gay, the way she says this and puts her hand on Xena’s arm here. Very relationshippy.

8) Pompey about Caesar to Xena: “It’s (Gabrielle) he wants. He seems to think she has some sort of power over you. He wants that power.” — Very telling. It makes Gabrielle the most important person in the known world.

9) X: “How many more times are you gonna follow me into battle, huh? How many more times am I gonna hurt you? You are the most dear thing to me in all the world. And yet, instead of protecting you-” G: “I’m here, because I want to be here. I love you, Xena.” X: “I love you too, Gabrielle.”

 Here is Caesars Palace now. Does it remind you of anything?

Seriously that Syrian guard looked like the gorgeous Don Draper from Mad Men.

My ode to Crassus falling down the stairs:

Also now that I'm thinking about it, have you fucking SEEN The Man in the High Castle? Have you even seen an ad for it? Here ya go: 

Nothing's wrong at all!

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