"King Con"
Now that it’s been years since I first watched the whole series (and this season onward) all the way through (seriously, nearly seven years, which I can't believe), I have forgotten, I think, what all the episodes are about, which is actually kind of a blessing. This way I can be surprised all over again.
To begin, I must state that this episode is about Donald Trump. Every movie, song, and TV show right now is about Donald Trump and the election.
So this makes two episodes in where Xena has fanned the flames of Gabrielle's jealousy. I actually don't think she was jealous in this ep, but maybe that by itself says something. She's not threatened by men, but she did seem threatened by Tara in "Forgiven."
Secondly, I’ve come to the conclusion that almost any episode that doesn’t focus on Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship is a shallow waste. Focus on one-episode characters is also a waste and a distraction. Somehow, I think this ties in with why I don't like going to parties.
This episode also seems like a nod to the 1994 movie Maverick, especially the final card game. But that movie did admit one thing, that gambling is all about luck. I found it very hard to keep up with this episode, because they were banking most of their cons on whether or not Xena gambled well. Unless she can see into the future, which the episode didn't allude to, then there was no "skill" involved here. None of actual gambling is a skill. Not dice-rolling, not a single hand of cards. Poker faces and knowing when to hold your bets, yes, but that didn't come up. What the fuck.
Did ROC really sprain her ankle? Kinda weird... Was this episode supposed to come after "One Against an Army"? That would make more sense. I have two friends right now with hurt feet, and they can’t do a gd thing, much less fight people.
FYI, before we move onto the review, I would like to state that I have the flu. Please proceed.
SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.
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EXTRA QUOTES:
1) X: “Where’d you get that sword?” Rafe: “Oh, actually, they say I take after my father in that respect.” — Not humor that I can appreciate right now. Get back to me in 2020.
2) G to X: “These the guys who conned him?” — Sounds like she said condom...
3) Rafe: “Nice come-out. You’ve done this before.” X: “It’s been a while.” Rafe: “Well, that’s too bad, a waste of talent.” X: “I have many skills, most of which I use against people like you.” — Usually, I'd be all about her many skills, but I couldn't get past my confusion over what she meant exactly to fully appreciate it this time. She's talking about rolling dice. Maybe if the camera showed her placing the dice a certain way in her palm, and then she threw calculatedly and they landed the way she planned (I have a similar trick I do where I toss my iphone and catch it perfectly faced and centered. I have to start with it upside down and facing away from me.)
4) X: “Thanks. I’ll tell you what I believe. I believe that you bet your buddy that you could score with me, and that this whole line of bull is just you trying to win a bet that you can only lose.” — I love Xena. So smart. Wish this had been the end of it.
5) X: “Lucky nine! Mama needs a new pair of sandals.” — Hahahaha!
6) Titus: “OK, who’s the wench?” — People ask this every time I go out with my friends.
7) G: “I didn’t say he was perfect. But you saw him with Joxer. And you have to admit, he’s smart, and he’s funny. He’s handsome-” X: “Arrogant and self-centered, and- ” G: “Your typical bad boy, just your type.” — As cute as this banter is, it’s hard to hear after "One Against an Army."
8) X-as-blonde: “Now watch. [puts the goods down the front of her dress] See how simple?” Leo: “For you. But I don’t happen to own a pair of those.” — Love the sincere delivery of this inadvertently cheap line from Leo.
9) G: “It’s my fault. I should’ve hog-tied him when he asked me to.” — That is fucking hilarious.
10) X: “What changed your mind about him, hmm?” G: “I don’t trust him, Xena. Like you said, he is a con man. A guy like that is always on the make." — Suddenly Gabrielle is jealous… Man, she just went through a jealousy episode. What the fuck.
11) X: “I don’t play safe.” — SWEET.
12) G: “Not now!” X: “Yes, now is the time.” — This line is said weird and I remember it from watching this ep for the first time in 2012.
Now here is the knife trick from Aliens (1986), as depicted in "King Con" administered by Xena. The look on Rafe's face during this trick, should have mirrored Bill Paxton's in this clip:
The final card game from Maverick (1994), before it was known that Mel Gibson
was a total fuckin asshole, is honored in "King Con":
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