Saturday Night Treater

In the middle of my Saturday, my friend Carla, who doesn't live far from Jolisa, suggested we hang out. I'm still at Jolisa's babysitting her (fucking cute-assed motherfucking) kitten. I hadn't seen Carla in a while, so I was pretty excited and supportive of the get-together. She's a cat-lover like me, so, when she arrived, she tweaked out with kissy face for a while and then we headed to a pretty good Mexican restaurant (scarce in New York City) called Mesa Azteca. This is when our standard hang turned into a Halloween blowout.

 "Blow" - Ke$ha

Coincidentally, Mesa Azteca was hosting a Dia de los Muertos dance party/fiesta, so the drinks and dinner menu were a bit limited, but the chow was good and the beats were off the chain. The DJ played house music (Nnts-Nnts-Nnts) such as remixes of Michael Jackson's "Remember the Time" and Ke$ha's "Blow." They actually played "Blow" twice during our meal. Of course I pointed that out and Carla was like, "Who's Kesha?" The point is, the music was loud like a full-blown nightclub inside the humble restaurant of Mesa Azteca. 

The hostess was dressed as a sexy pirate and the Phantom of the Opera took our order. After a few margaritas and some serious seated dancing, we stumbled out into the first snow storm of the winter. (Note: heavy snow this early is unusual. The first blizzard is more likely to happen in late November at the soonest.) We made it home after stopping off for beer at a bodega and then decided to hunt for Halloweenish movies on Netflix. We popped popcorn, drank brewskies, gorged on pie, played with the cat, and popped chocolates throughout two ghoulish flicks:

1) Haunted Honeymoon

2) Let the Right One In

Let the Right One In is a longtime favorite of mine. Its beautiful and compelling. Give it a go and you'll see what I mean, hopefully. During the first 30 minutes of my initial viewing, I thought, "I don't think this movie is for me." By the time it was over, I had to have it; it was so good. As a side note, if I love a movie, I buy it, so if I mention that I own a particular movie, that means it's one of my favorites in the world. I don't keep subpar films in my collection. I'll probably reiterate this detail many times throughout the life of this blog, but there had to be a first time, girl, and this is it. To wrap up the LTROI talk, I usually tell everyone that it's the best vampire movie I've ever seen (after Interview with the Vampire, Lost Boys and Twilight, of course.)

Haunted Honeymoon is written and directed by Gene Wilder, who also stars in the film with Gilda Radner and Dom DeLuise. It's pretty funny. I loved watching it, though I wouldn't say it's the most hilarious movie I've ever seen. I think it's a lot like the movie Clue, which I own (<--!!!) I'm curious to know which one came first, though not curious enough to look it up. HH is a little dated. Clue, on the other hand, is a timeless masterpiece.

Before we settled in for the movies, Carla and I were talking about the similarities between the two songs, "The Look" by Roxette and "U Got the Look" by Prince featuring her royal majesty Sheena Easton. I've posted these two gems below. I can never decide which I love best (probably the Prince one, but Roxette is good, too. Roxette. No, Prince. Roxette. Definitely Roxette.) I do love the chick from Roxette's hair; it kinda reminds me of Gabrielle of Potidaea when her hair was short, but only just. Anyway, whenever I sing these songs, I run a 50/50 chance of randomly belting either one, thinking they're the same song.

"U Got the Look" - Prince

"The Look" - Roxette

Texas Care Package

Today I received a care package from my parents in Texas. In case you didn't know, I'm a Texas native living in Brooklyn. Care packages from home are not only welcome, they are.. awesome. They always hit the spot. Plus, right now, I'm so broke. I'm currently looking for a job, as the one I had recently folded. Needless to say, everything in the box will be used. Hard.

As much as I try to instill the value of healthy food in my parents, my mother is quick to disregard what I say. She knows my weak spots, so to speak. As a matter of fact, she bets heavily on them, so let's begin there.

In case you're not familiar with the items featured in this picture, that's two bags of Reese's Pieces peanut butter cups (my favorite) to the left and a milk carton of Whoppers to the right.

So the first thing I see when I open the Texas care package is a pair of my mother's socks, an envelope full of earrings that I left behind last time I was in Texas, rolls of toilet paper strategically placed to serve as padding, and the above items. I do not buy candy or soft drinks at all in Brooklyn. Ever. I am strongly against putting them in my body, but if someone gives me candy, I will eat the living shit out of it. I will eat it all in one day. -o00000000000 (<-- Trillian decided to stand on the keyboard and say hi. I "love it" when she does that.) Like I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, I will eat the shit out of anything, if it's given to me; especially fucking candy. It's like it doesn't count if it's free. So, while I'm a little disgruntled that my parents sent me candy, I'm absolutely thrilled. Whoppers are my favorite movie-theater candy, even though I'm lactose intolerant (seriously). I can make a whole personal-sized box last the entire film. With that in mind, think about what I can do with a box this size.

Jerky.

How sweet is this? Beef jerky. I know it's bad for me, but oh my god, MMmm!! For those of you from Texas or who are familiar with the grocery store chain HEB, you might notice that the jerkies on the right are Hill Country Fair brand, which is the HEB house brand. It's suuuper cheap and it's the exact kind of cheap that I miss living here in New York.

Organic tamps.

Again. Serious win, here. Do you know how much these cost in New York City? About $7 to $9 dollars a box. At HEB? $3.50. I begged for these. I like to put organic stuff inside my body and tampons are no exception. 

First of all, I'm about to butcher a quote from my friend Jolisa. She said, "Applicators are for little girls," or some shit like that. I agree with her. You do not need an applicator to put a tampon in your body. It's like having sex with a body condom; it's just not necessary. Tamps with applicators generate so much waste. Applicator-less tamps - there's practically nothing to them but the box, which can be recycled. Quick trivia: did you know that recycling in New York City is mandatory by law? That's one good thing about this city out of many good (and bad) things. Secondly, lots of tampons (non-organic ones) have chemicals in them that make you bleed more, or at least that's the word on the street. I also agree with that in terms of experience. During my cycle, I go through roughly 8 to 10 tampons, so with the acquisition of these three boxes, I'm set for six months!

Vampire lips sticky pad and soap.

So, I'm going to say that the item on the left is my favorite thing that came in the box. Both of these things are the unmistakable touch of my mother. I know that she was in some store (probably Hallmark), saw the vampire lips notepad and thought, "Well, how cute. Wanda would love this." She's right. Also, I just ran out of bar soap, so these two bar sets with the... flower-shaped spongy thing on top couldn't have come at a better time.

And there were a lot of other basic food stuffs, like tuna, soup, beans, cereal, almonds, and other odds and ends. OH! And a cough expectorant, which came a little bit late. I just got over the flu. I had it for about two weeks, and it knocked me on my ass. It's amazing when you're little and think, "I'm sick," as opposed to being older and thinking, "I'm sick, and I might die. I live alone; no one will find me for days." Awesome.

In summary, this has been a review of a Texan Care Package. I'm your host, Wanda Tate. Have a good night.

Looove Cibo Matto. "Beef Jerky" just happens to be one of their best.

Stop the Virgens!

A few nights ago, I experienced Karen O's Stop the Virgens!, an opera that saw eight performances in two weeks at St. Ann's Warehouse in Dumbo, Brooklyn.

My Stop the Virgens! program. I know. It's awesome.

I really love the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who performed in the opera, and a friend of mine helped work on this production, so I was excited to both see a wonderful, unique performance and support my friend. The play is termed a "psycho opera," and psycho, it was. I mean, I was kinda scrrred. I fairly crapped my pants a couple of times before and during.

I sometimes go out in New York to see concerts, plays or the ballet with my high school friends, Kelli and Joel. This night, it was just Kelli and myself, because Joel had an internship commitment that he couldn't ditch (though he really wanted to). Kelli was pretty excited about the play and we were both spazzing out over the Cokes we consumed in the foyer. We had no idea what we were about to walk in and stand to.

Before the show, one of the two characters known as 'sentinels' threw these flyers out into the crowd. I caught this one and an audience member actually tried to grab it out of my hand. Another variant of the flyer was thrown out, which I didn't manage to catch. As you can see the image is printed on almost translucent, plastic-like paper (was it rice paper? Shit, I don't know.) Very, very nice. All Stop the Virgens! illustrations by Sonny Gerasimowicz.

The play featured nine beauuutiful/awesome songs. If you're familiar with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, then you know the heavenliness of which I speak. Karen O's vocals melt my pantaloons. She has, like, the slightest touch of death lining her voice. Seriously, I can't wait for the album. Forty virgens donned the stage and flanked the left and right sides of the theater as the (outstanding) supporting choir. All of them sported short, blonde shocks of hair and died gruesome, bloody deaths at various points during the play. 

The graphics were stunning. There was even a choral conductor standing in the center of the sold-out crowd just totally workin' it. I mean, she hunkered down and conducted the shit out of that opera. 

And did I mention Lili Taylor was in it?! Big fan of hers. If you don't know who she is, chances are you've seen her in something, admired her work, and just didn't know it. What's funny is, I'd read she was in Stop the Virgens! before I saw it, then I forgot and remembered again when I saw her onstage. 

The play was gorgeous, the whole thing. Look for more on Stop the Virgens! in the future, because a mere eight performances can't be all there is.

 "Maps," the Yeah Yeah Yeahs most iconic song, I think.

If you've never heard it, please listen;

it will probably change your life.

Trillian

So, I'm at my friend Jolisa's house babysitting her new cat, Trillian. I'm on kitty duty for two weeks, whilst Jolisa nannies for a rich Manhattan family on vacation in Italy. Even though we're talking about me hanging out with a cat (I love cats,) I'd gladly switch places with her. She's going to goddamn Pompeii, which, you know, is where I want to go. Badly. So in a way, Jolisa can kiss my ass, but in another way, I'm thankful for the quality time with such a sweet baby.

Trillian is adorable as fuck, if I may. She's a really young rescue kitten, so she needs special attention, such as bottle-feeding and eye-ointment. I'm happy to do it. It's just what I need right now, actually.

I'll be posting a lot of stuff about Xena in the coming weeks, because, as I've said, I'm obsessed with the show (particularly right now for some reason) and working towards a 2011 series-viewing. I aim for an early November start. Crossing my fingers, arms, heart, legs, and toes.

How in all hell am I supposed to concentrate with this going on?

The XENA 2011 Movie Campaign

BEST. IDEA. EVER.

Being a huge Xena fan, I sometimes tweak out and search the net for interesting Xena conversations, fan fiction, or artwork. Today, I stumbled upon the Xena 2011 Movie Campaign page on Facebook, and I... Well, my heart flipped its shit.

Let me begin with a little back story. Ahem! ...When Xena: Warrior Princess first aired, I was a young lady of about 16. I'd seen a couple of episodes of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and liked the idea (because I've always loved swords and ancient times) but ultimately never got into it. When I heard there would be a spin-off starring a female warrior champion, I nearly came where I stood. I started watching episodes of Xena here and there, but it wasn't until I saw the episode, "The Return of Callisto," that I was like, "Oh, it is on." When I turned 18, I moved away from home to a different city. My roommates and I didn't have cable, so I wasn't able to watch Xena anymore, though I did keep a huge poster of her on the wall in our home.

I'm 33 now. About two years ago, after talking enthusiastically with a friend's aunt, who's extremely into the show, my interest in Xena blazed anew. Netflix had (and still has, as of the date of this post) the whole series available on Watch Instantly, so I decided to watch every single episode of Xena from beginning to end. Keep in mind, when I moved at 18 and stopped watching the show, I'd only seen the first two seasons of Xena. Boy, was I in for a frickin' treat.

Xena gets so deep after season 2, y'all. Seriously, this show... I can't even tell you. I watched all six seasons just completely enthralled. I highly recommend it, regardless of your age, gender, creed, sexuality, whatever. If you need convincing and want some suggestions of a single episode to watch that might quench your curiosity, get ready. Although I advise watching them in order, because the order is part of the beauty, I recommend "Callisto" and then "Return of Callisto" in that order, as those initially hooked me. I read somewhere that one of the writers of the show always converts people by having them watch "The Ides of March." As a matter of fact, I'm going to find that quote right now, because it's a really good one.

...

This is an excerpt from a Whoosh! interview with Katherine Fugate, who wrote what is arguably the best Xena episode of all time. Here's what she had to say about getting into the show:

"My sister was a big Xena fan first - and she forced me to watch her "guilty pleasure." I admit, I was a bit reluctant, but the first episode I saw was IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE, which was emotional and mesmerizing and I became a fan. Since then, I find the DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN line about "No, I don't watch that show—bunch of chop-socky crap" is what people who've never seen the show believe. I find they have no concept of the themes of the show and instead believe it's just Lucy Lawless running around with a sword. To me, it's about finding your path in life, making mistakes and leaning from them, and always staying focused on the greater good. I have never seen ER, West Wing or Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, but I bet my image of what those shows are would be much closer to the truth than what non-Xena fans think Xena is about. I find myself almost giddy when I defend the show because I turn on someone new who watches it and then is hooked, too. My favorite episode to hand out is IDES OF MARCH. I always have a convert after that episode's been seen."

It's true; Xena: Warrior Princess is unique. There are those who aren't yet brave enough to admit they like it, and then there are people like me who will tell you that it's the greatest show ever made. "Wanda, what makes you say that, girlfriend?" Because, girl, these people did anything they wanted on this show! Don't you see? It's the funnest goddamn show on the face. It's exciting, hilarious, dramatic, spiritual, historical, violent, sexy, romantic, cheesy, profound, and cool. The stunts are awesome and ambitious (Kill Bill stunt woman, Zoe Bell, in the hizzy. Speaking of, I've heard that Xena fan, Quentin Tarantino, based Kill Bill off of many aspects of Xena.) With all that said, any true Xena fan will tell you: the show is about love.

I could talk about Xena forever. Unfortunately, I don't know people who watch the show (openly), so I have only myself to deal with in regard to the incredible story lines, complex characters, thoughtful relationships, stunning and poignant details and, most forwardly, things I would change about each episode, if I could. ...Ugh, so many facets of this show. It's truly too much to cover in a single blog post, which is why there'll be several to come on the matter.

The show's end angered and broke the hearts of many fans. Although I know what happens in the final two (highly controversial) episodes, I'm afraid to watch them, because I hear it really hurts, girl. I'm desperate to hear from people who actually loved (or even liked) the ending.

In light of the newly resurrected effort to make a Xena movie (please, God. Jesus.), I'm going to rewatch the series again. I can't wait. I wish I'd taken notes for each episode during my first full viewing two years ago, but I simply wasn't prepared for what was in store. Now that I know, I've drawn up a review-sheet template, which I'll fill out for each ep and post here to the blizzy. I'm doin' it right this time. As the old saying goes, go big or kiss my ass.

Before I close, here's something that I want everyone to "hear:" I know it's been 10 years since the show's cancellation (just when it hit its stride, too), but I think a movie starring the two actresses who portrayed Gabrielle and Xena would be amazing. I have such visions of our heroines, 10 years older and wiser, facing each other. I believe they'd be even more beautiful now in these roles than before and add a new depth and maturity to the story that might just kill us all.

If I were a VHS player, I'd play the shit out of these.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dianaschnuth/
License

Wanda & Lucsious L's Greatest Hits

Alright, so we finally completed the CD. Completion occurred approximately two weeks ago, and I'm just now getting around to posting about it. I've posted a picture of the final playlist and order at the bottom. I must say, it was very painful eliminating some of the songs in order to make the 80-minute CD requirement. I'm not going to lie, the process hurt us each very deeply, but we are absolutely proud of the result. 

This, my friends, is the greatest mixed CD ever made. Here are the final considerations on the matter and, as I said earlier, the picture below includes the final lineup and order:

In:

Snoop Dogg & Dr. Dre - Nuthin' But a G-Thang

Tag Team - Whoomp There It Is

Q Lazzurus - Goodbye Horses

Wang Chung - Dance Hall Days

Ween – Voodoo Lady

Nena - 99 Red Balloons

Anna Oxygen – Spectacle and/or Viva

ABBA – Name of the Game

Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places

The Carpenters - Superstar

Sonic Youth - Bull in the Heather

The Orb - Little Fluffy Clouds

K's Choice - Not an Addict

Sheryl Crow - Leaving Las Vegas

Mighty Dub Katz - Magic Carpet Ride

Nina Simone - Sugar in My Bowl

Nina Simone - I Put a Spell on You

Salt N Pepa - Push It

The Messiah – Thunderdome

The Messiah - Temple of Dreams

Liz Phair – X-Ray Man

Robert Miles – Children

Tricky - Evolution Revolution Love

Breeders – Safari

Depeche Mode – Never Let Me Down Again

Deee-Lite – Vote Baby Vote

M.A.R.R.S. - Pump Up the Volume

Maybe:

Blondie – Atomic or Maria

Mr. Bungle – Retrovertigo

Gram Rabbit - New Energy, Dirty Horse, Disco #2, Cowboys & Aliens

Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My

Go-gos

Janet Jackson - If

Chemical Brothers - One Too Many Mornings, Come With Us

Daft Punk – Da Funk, Around the World, One More Time

Out:

Folk Implosion - Natural One

Cranberries – Linger

Gary Wright - Dreamweaver

Crash Test Dummies - Mmm, Mmm-mmm

The Fugees – Killing Me Softly

Elvis

Return of the Living Dead - Theme Song

Norman Greenbaum - Spirit in the Sky

Book of Love - I Touch Roses

Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams

Nirvana

They Might Be Giants – Istanbul

Yello - Oh Yeah

QOTSA

INXS

New Suggestions:

B-52s – Dirty Back Road

New Order – Love Vigilantes

Albums:

Anna Oxygen – All Your Pretty Things

Gram Rabbit – Music to Start a Cult To

#1

Welcome to my first blog post, bastage. I feel that 6:36 AM is as good a time to start a blog as any. Some of you may think that I just woke up. Those of you who just read that last sentence realize that I'm about to say that I haven't gone to sleep yet, which is true. I'm burning the mid-morning oil, girl.

Let's move on to more pressing matters. My friend - let's just call her Jasmine - is moving to California at the end of this month. She currently lives down the street from me. She's rented a Penske moving truck and is driving down the East coast, into Texas to see her sissies, through the gentle town of Juarez Mexico, then straight to Los Angeles.

She told me that the truck has a CD player inside of it. Seeing as how I have a huge stack of blank CDs (which we all know will never get used. Nope. Not with all these iPods and shit floating around), I got the brilliant idea to make a mixed CD. Genius, really. When will I ever have another chance?

My best friend in the whole world - we'll call her Luscious L - lives in California. We're both originally from Texas. Well, she was born in Colorado, but that's a different story. When we were teens, we listened to the SHIT out of some great, great songs. 

I got the idea that we could make a mixed CD called "Wanda and Luscious L's Greatest Hits," which will be a prestigious collection of oldies spanning from the tips of the 60s to the edges of the 00s. As a rule, we can only include songs over which we co-tweaked, whether it was on the road in my '82 Cutlass Supreme or sitting in Luscious L and her kid sister's bedroom by the stereo. I think it's a first-rate idea. So top-notch, in fact, that I slept with myself in thanks because of it.

So far, our list looks like this:

In:

Snoop Dogg & Dr. Dre - Nuthin' But a G Thang

Tag Team - Whoomp There it Is

Q Lazzurus - Goodbye Horses

Wang Chung - Dance hall Days

Go-go's (which song?)

Ween (which song?)

Nena - 99 Red Balloons

Anna Oxygen – Spectacle

Blondie - Atomic

ABBA – Name of the Game

Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places

The Carpenters – Superstar

Janet Jackson - If
Sonic Youth - Bull in the Heather
The Orb - Little Fluffy Clouds

K's Choice - Not an Addict

Maybe:

The Messiah – Thunderdome or Temple of Dreams

Return of the Living Dead – Tonight (by SSQ)

Return of the Living Dead - Theme Song

Mr. Bungle

Gram Rabbit

Norman Greenbaum - Spirit in the Sky

Sheryl Crow - Leaving Las Vegas

Mighty Dub Katz - Magic Carpet Ride

Yello - Oh Yeah

Book of Love - I Touch Roses

Robert Miles – Children

Tricky

Breeders

Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car

INXS

Depeche Mode

Out:

Folk Implosion - Natural One
Cranberries - Linger
Gary Wright - Dreamweaver

Crash Test Dummies - Mmm, Mmm-mmm

I'm letting you know, so you can see where we are. We've got a long road ahead of us, which includes a voting process and several suggestion meetings. It's going to be the most amazing thing we've ever done.

Toodle-loo!