Texas Care Package

Today I received a care package from my parents in Texas. In case you didn't know, I'm a Texas native living in Brooklyn. Care packages from home are not only welcome, they are.. awesome. They always hit the spot. Plus, right now, I'm so broke. I'm currently looking for a job, as the one I had recently folded. Needless to say, everything in the box will be used. Hard.

As much as I try to instill the value of healthy food in my parents, my mother is quick to disregard what I say. She knows my weak spots, so to speak. As a matter of fact, she bets heavily on them, so let's begin there.

In case you're not familiar with the items featured in this picture, that's two bags of Reese's Pieces peanut butter cups (my favorite) to the left and a milk carton of Whoppers to the right.

So the first thing I see when I open the Texas care package is a pair of my mother's socks, an envelope full of earrings that I left behind last time I was in Texas, rolls of toilet paper strategically placed to serve as padding, and the above items. I do not buy candy or soft drinks at all in Brooklyn. Ever. I am strongly against putting them in my body, but if someone gives me candy, I will eat the living shit out of it. I will eat it all in one day. -o00000000000 (<-- Trillian decided to stand on the keyboard and say hi. I "love it" when she does that.) Like I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, I will eat the shit out of anything, if it's given to me; especially fucking candy. It's like it doesn't count if it's free. So, while I'm a little disgruntled that my parents sent me candy, I'm absolutely thrilled. Whoppers are my favorite movie-theater candy, even though I'm lactose intolerant (seriously). I can make a whole personal-sized box last the entire film. With that in mind, think about what I can do with a box this size.

Jerky.

How sweet is this? Beef jerky. I know it's bad for me, but oh my god, MMmm!! For those of you from Texas or who are familiar with the grocery store chain HEB, you might notice that the jerkies on the right are Hill Country Fair brand, which is the HEB house brand. It's suuuper cheap and it's the exact kind of cheap that I miss living here in New York.

Organic tamps.

Again. Serious win, here. Do you know how much these cost in New York City? About $7 to $9 dollars a box. At HEB? $3.50. I begged for these. I like to put organic stuff inside my body and tampons are no exception. 

First of all, I'm about to butcher a quote from my friend Jolisa. She said, "Applicators are for little girls," or some shit like that. I agree with her. You do not need an applicator to put a tampon in your body. It's like having sex with a body condom; it's just not necessary. Tamps with applicators generate so much waste. Applicator-less tamps - there's practically nothing to them but the box, which can be recycled. Quick trivia: did you know that recycling in New York City is mandatory by law? That's one good thing about this city out of many good (and bad) things. Secondly, lots of tampons (non-organic ones) have chemicals in them that make you bleed more, or at least that's the word on the street. I also agree with that in terms of experience. During my cycle, I go through roughly 8 to 10 tampons, so with the acquisition of these three boxes, I'm set for six months!

Vampire lips sticky pad and soap.

So, I'm going to say that the item on the left is my favorite thing that came in the box. Both of these things are the unmistakable touch of my mother. I know that she was in some store (probably Hallmark), saw the vampire lips notepad and thought, "Well, how cute. Wanda would love this." She's right. Also, I just ran out of bar soap, so these two bar sets with the... flower-shaped spongy thing on top couldn't have come at a better time.

And there were a lot of other basic food stuffs, like tuna, soup, beans, cereal, almonds, and other odds and ends. OH! And a cough expectorant, which came a little bit late. I just got over the flu. I had it for about two weeks, and it knocked me on my ass. It's amazing when you're little and think, "I'm sick," as opposed to being older and thinking, "I'm sick, and I might die. I live alone; no one will find me for days." Awesome.

In summary, this has been a review of a Texan Care Package. I'm your host, Wanda Tate. Have a good night.

Looove Cibo Matto. "Beef Jerky" just happens to be one of their best.