Xena: Season 4, Episode 8: "Crusader"

ALTERNATIVE TITLE: 

"The Law of Attraction: The Teachings of the Jinn"

Dude I love this episode so much. And I can't believe how gay it is. Probably the gayest yet. (I already said this, but…)

This episode is obviously about cults, and this one veers dangerously close to incorporating flower children. Gabrielle's induction ceremony looks like something I've seen before, either in history or movie. I can't put my finger on it, but when I do, expect an update by god. Some cults that come to mind are The Mason Family, Scientology, Heaven's Gate, and the Branch Davidians.

Number of times:

• Njara calls for Buttercar: 2
• Njara and her men break out into song: 2
• Gabrielle has to stop someone from killing the other: 2

[SPOILER CORNER for SEASON:] 

1) The episode before this, this one, and the next few are all female antagonists.
2) This season is so well played. I remember watching for the first time and thinking the crucify wouldn’t happen. It changes eeeverything knowing it does. 

[END SPOILER]

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRA QUOTES:

1) Njara: "Would you like to join us on our mission?" X: "What's your mission?" Njara: "To fight evil wherever we find it." X: "Can you be a little more specific?"

2) N: "Well, it's a good thing our fight against evil doesn't depend on our singing.” – Ho, ho, ho! Oh, Njara!

3) G: “I don't know what to make of her." – Samesies. People say this about me all the time.

4) X: "Gabrielle? You've been awful quiet. You all right?" G: "Yeah, I was just thinking about yesterday. Amazing." – G is thinking about Njara here. Ouch.

5) Njara: "Garielle, you need to make a full commitment to the light. It will give you faith that what you're doing is right." G: "The light. I need something." – Again, OUCH. Fuck.

6) X: "Come on, Njara, how about it? Do you execute unarmed men without a trial?" Njara: "Definitely not." G: "You see, Xena?-" Njara: "I liberate their souls."

7) G: "Najara, don't do this." X: "Get out of the way, Gabrielle." Naj: "This is between Xena and me. Stay out of it. The light will triumph, Xena." X: "Quit preaching and fight." – This is like my fave.

8) G: "You'll have to kill us both." Njara: "You don't understand, Gabrielle. That darkness inside her will destroy you one day." G: "Put the sword down. Njara. You and I, we'll walk out of here together." Njara: "You're just saying that to protect her." G: "Xena's dark side frightens me. I need to move on, but I could never live with someone who killed her. There would be no going back from that." – It’s interesting, I wonder if Gabrielle is telling the truth about Xena’s dark side frightening her.

9) X: “I hate that.” – Spitting out a tooth. [SPOILER] Take note of how many times Xena says this in the coming episodes. [END SPOILER]

10) X: “I got my butt whipped, didn't I?" Kid: "Uh huh." X: "Well, it serves me right for trusting someone who talks about being good all the time." – There's total truth to this. 

11) G: "Xena, are you all right?" X: "I lost one of those good chewing teeth, but other than that, I'm fine." – See? This episode is not without humor.

12) G: "Xena, we should get out of here." X: "No. She's too dangerous a girl to leave on the loose. She likes killing too much." G: "But she beat you up so badly." X: "Well, that's another reason." – Hhahahaha

13) G: "Be careful, Njara. She's snapped.” – This is kind of hilarious.

14) X: “It's part of that drastic change you talked about, and it's sure gonna change by my destiny." G: "OK." Njara: "I knew you were no good for her." [They fight] X: "You see, it's a little more difficult with a millstone like her around your neck, isn't it? You probably wouldn't care if one of your soldiers died. They'd just go up to that big, old light in the sky. But you might miss Gabrielle, huh?" – This whole exchange is something I don't want to get lost in the fray. I should include it below with "Gayest Lines," but it's so intense by itself, thus here it stays. Also, I  love Gabrielle's "OK" in the middle of it, her trying to diffuse two people who are ready to kill each other.

15) G: "Xena! Don't kill her." X: "Looks like she saved both our lives today." – Gabrielle has to tell Njara and Xena not to kill each other, like a master to a dog. It's kinda hot.

16) X: "Did you tell her about the vision?" Njara: "No. That would hurt her, and I don't ever want to do that. That's your job" – Fuuuuuck.

17) Njara: “I forgive you, Gabrielle.” – Just like I’ve forgiven every woman that fucked me over.

GAYEST LINES:

1) Njara: "As soon as she realizes you've left her, you know she'll follow you." X: "I see such joy in her eyes when she talks to you about your mission. She's been looking for meaning. I think you can give it to her. It hasn't always been good for her, being with me. I seem to hurt her." – No comment.

2) Njara: "I know she forgives you. I promise I'll do everything I can to justify your trust." X: "You better." – Translation: "You better treat her right. Don’t do her like I did"

3) X: "Come on, Gabrielle." Njara: "No! Gabrielle has turned to the light. She's my responsibility now. As you said yourself, you hurt her. That's not going to happen again." – Translation: "She divorced you and married me. DON'T YOU GET IT, BITCH, SHE'S WITH ME NOW."

4) X: “But if I can't have her, nobody's gonna have her.” – Ahem. Nobody’s gonna HAVE her? Jesus. How many movies have we seen with crazed lovers trying to kill their objects of affection, because they an't have them? This is kind of funny. If I were Gabrielle, I would've thought it was funny.

5) Njara: "I knew you were no good for her." – Whelp!

NOTABLE SCENES:

17:03 – Fan art alert. The beautiful angle from the side.

20:56 – Xena looks so hurt here

39:03 – That sword spin and its sound effects

39:19 – Xena's fabulous spin kick

Here's the gang on Poltergeist talking about "the Light," which is a bad entity:

I am trying like all hell to think of a movie where the victim or love interest surrenders herself to the bad guy to save the one she loves from being killed, but I can't think of one right now. Soon. This scrawny paragraph is a mere place holder.

This is a song Njara and her members keep in heavy rotation on the nightly singing playlist:

Many don't know that Norman Greenbaum's “Spirit in the Sky” got its roots in Ancient Greece:

What I was listening to when I watched this episode: The XX's song “Seesaw” was written by Xena of Amphipolis about Gabrielle of Potidaea and her turn to Njara and The Jinn:

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