ALTERNATIVE TITLE:
"Like Sandstorms through the Hourglass"
This episode feels different, doesn't it. I'm taking deep pleasure in the new dimensions growing in these characters as the show progresses.
If I said to someone or someone said to me, “You’re the one who made me change my view on life to not want to die,” I would be "with" that person. There's no friend that's caused me to think to myself, "I live for this person," but I have felt that in spades from people I'm in love with. With that in mind, I'm going to go ahead and put my patent-leather-heeled foot down and point-out that Xena and Gabrielle are together.
Missed subtext: Dalius says to Xena about Gabrielle, her slave, “I think someone should be punished," and Xena...with no tongue in cheek and a whoosh heard around the world, says, "Oh, someone will be.” Meaning, she's going to punish the Romans. I mean for gods sake, he started the joke FOR her. What more does she want? All she had to do was allude with a wink or something that she was going to spank Gabrielle. FUCK. The joke writes itself.
SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.
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EXTRA QUOTES:
1) X: "Don't say I never give you anything: sun, sand-" G: "-Surf." [Gabrielle splashes Xena] X: "That was unnecessary, a little uncalled for. All right, I'm pruning. I'm outta here." – I love so much that Gabrielle is giggling at this gentle teasing from Xena.
2) G: "Strange beauty to the desert." X: "You do look for the good in everything, don'tcha?" G: "Why does it sound like an insult when you say it?" X: "Well, maybe not everything." G: "Yeah, well sand up my wazoo gets me a little edgy." X: "Mmm, hate it when that happens.” – This’s hot.
3) Kahina: “In the desert we learn young to mind our own business; otherwise, you don't become old." X: "Growing old is overrated. I never pass up a good fight." -– Hell yeah.
4) Kahina: "You should pick your fights more wisely, then." G: "We don't pick them, they pick us. Come on, Xena." – This is the first I can remember Gabrielle calling a shot like this.
5) Kahina: "Who are you to take that name? Xena, the legendary warrior princess is long dead." X: "No, she's not." G: "This is Xena." Kahina: "Impossible." G: "No, it's just hard to explain." Kahina: "Oh, and I suppose you're Gabrielle, the battling bard of Poteidaia." G: "I've never heard it used like that, but yeah, I'm Gabrielle." – Particularly partial to Xena’s execution of this dialogue, and love this simple exchange.
6) G: "So this is the desert hospitality that I've heard so much about." – Is that a nod to Texas southern hospitality I hear, or is this an expression used across the world?
7) Kahina: "Xena, we've grown up on the stories of your victories. There's nothing you can't do, no place we wouldn't follow you." G: "Stories." Kahina: "Oh, of course, your scrolls. We were brought up listening to them. Well, surely you knew, Gabrielle." G: "I had no idea they'd come this far. I'm pleased."
8) Kahina: “Of course, our tradition is one of hospitality. My cousins will be honored to take you both to bed." G to X: "What was that you said about not refusing anything?" – Hahahaha
9) G: "Do you think those guys bought that 'Amazon chastity' bit I made up?" X: "Oh, I think they were hanging on every word of ‘Gabrielle, the battling bard.’" G: "Hmm, I think it has character." X: "Yeah." G: "I wish I had a dinar for every time I heard 'Xena, the legendary warrior princess.'" X: "Bet you do." G: "I think you're loving it."
10) X: "These people need help. If anyone knows Romans, we do." G: "I'll say... Xena? Do you ever have those moments in battle where you have to decide whether to disable someone or to kill them?" X: "What?" G: "Don't you ever think about it?" X: "You just have to trust your instincts, that's all." G: "Well, what if your instincts are wrong?" X: "If you're gonna stop and debate that, you're gonna get hurt." – Man, this is so good. Gabrielle’s demeanor is different from what we’re used to, and the way Xena says all this is perfect. Love Xena saying, "You're going to get hurt," and continuing to stare at Gabrielle for a long time without Gabrielle being able to see her.
11) Tazere: "Show me this myth you claim to have found wandering in the desert." X: "Watch who you're calling a myth." – Heh heh
12) Korah: "Could you teach me to use those weapons?" G: "If you want me to." Korah: "May I wash your feet?" G: "I don't think you wanna do that." Korah: "No, it is a custom. Please." G: "No, really, you-" Korah: "-may I?" G: "OK, if you must." – Smooth.
13) Korah: "Your descriptions of the battles you've been in show growth and understanding from the earliest of the scrolls to the latest. Were you aware of that?" G: "No." – God, what a pass by Korah.
14) X: "Gabrielle [Xena sees Korah washing Gabrielle’s footsie. Gabrielle gets up and goes to her.] Let's go check-out the town and find out what the Romans are up to." [All at once] Kahina: "Its too-!" Tazere: "It's too-" Korah: "No!" X: "Hold it! Gabrielle and I can handle this. Everyone else stay here." – Xena is fucking pissed.
15) X: "What's with the desert boy?" G: "He wants me to teach him how to use the sais." X: "He's picked a great teacher." G: "It's kind of strange being thought of as a warrior more than a bard. Guess I've come a long way." X: "Is that a good thing?" G: "Yeah, it is." – Is “sais” not a mistake? Sai is the plural form of sai. Surely they knew this but maybe did it to be less distracting to the viewer.
16) G: "For once, Xena, I'd like to be the Roman noble and you be the slave." – FUNNY (and hot).
17) X/Phasmia: "What if they were to unite? They'd be dangerous, wouldn't they?" Roman Captain: "There is no chance of that. They spout old stories of Xena, Caesar's Thracian whore, and wait for a legendary warrior to rise out of the sand and lead them." – That's literally what they do in the ambush. Fabulous.
18) Tazere: "Only the cursed Romans would -Romans. Xena, did you see them?" X: "No, there was a storm." – The intensity of Xena's words and this moment is palpable.
19) G: "How'd it go?" X: "Not good." G: "I should have gone with you. I'll talk to him, Xena." X: "No, it's more complicated than you think." G: "Xena, it's not complicated. It is simple. I killed Korah." X: "Out here, the penalty for that is death." G: "I accept that." X: "Well, I don't." G: "Xena." X: "What purpose would it serve? It can't bring Korah back now, can it." G: "Xena, that man out there deserves to know the truth." X: "He thinks he does. He thinks the Romans did it." G: "Did you tell them that?" X: "It was an accident. Let him believe the Romans did it. They have to fight them anyway." G: "I can't lie about this." – I treasure this intimate, tender exchange, reminiscent of the gravity of "One Against an Army." My favorite part is Gabrielle sighing, "Xena," after Xena says she won't accept Gabrielle's death sentence. You can barely hear her say it, and yet it engulfs all the ways she feels about Xena.
20) G: “He isn't the killer. I am." – The tension at this point = A+
21) X: "She doesn't deserve to die, Kahina." Kahina: "Neither did Korah. The law is a just one, Xena. This changes everything. You lied to us." X: "That's right, I lied, and even if you were to kill Gabrielle, the Romans would keep coming." Kahina: "Then they will. We can't follow you now. Tomorrow at dawn, she dies."
22) G: "Xena, you once prayed never to see the light go out in me. I just don't think there's much of that left in here. This is best for everyone." – It’s the time of trump, girl. I hear you.
23) G: "Last night, I thought letting them kill me was the best thing for everyone." X: "Gabrielle, you may never forgive yourself for what happened to Korah, but you'll be a stronger person for it." G: "I don't know." X: "I felt that way once. I felt there was nothing left to live for. I was tired of hurting, and I just wanted it to end." G: "What changed it for you?" X: "You did." G: "I guess we've come full circle, huh?" X: "Come on." – This is fucking deep, and I can’t believe this is actual dialogue. Xena wanted to die and, here, so does Gabrielle. It’s a suicide episode.
24) Kahina: "You expect us to trust you now? Why should we?" X: "You have no choice." G: "We could have ridden in the opposite direction." – I wonder if this is the best Gabrielle-scripted episode I’ve ever seen.
25) Kahina: "We don't have enough people, even with the surprise." G: "You have Xena. What more do you want?" Kahina: "Funny how the Romans showed up just in time to save your friend, almost like it was planned." X: "You got the fight you wanted. Stop complaining." Kahina to G: "Left a few details out of those stories, didn't you?" – Hahaha omg this suuuucks. I mean, what can Gabrielle say to that? This isn’t Xena and Gabrielle's best side. Or is it?
26) X: "Tell Caesar Xena sends her regards." Roman Captain: "Xena??" – This line is a bit buried, but how scathing. "I'm definitely gonna kill you right now, you're going to hell, and I was Xena all along!"
27) G: "You saved me today, Xena, against the greater good. Why? Isn't that what we've been fighting for?" X: "Gabrielle, in everyone's life, there's something that goes beyond the greater good.” – How can Gabrielle say this, and why isn’t anyone making the argument that to keep Gabrielle alive would mean saving so many more people? The greater good is to keep Gabrielle alive.
28) X: "Gabrielle, in everyone's life, there's something that goes beyond the greater good. That's what you are in my life. I wasn't about to let you die out there if there was something I could do about it." G: "What if it was my choice?" X: "Especially if it was your choice." – This is so deep. I confess I’ve had friends save me like this. It’s painful to think about, and a dark siuation, because it barely works.
I'm sorry this isn't more clear-cut, but here's the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) where Willie almost insults the villagers by refusing their food offering.
Again, apologies for the non-clear-cutted-ness, but here's the scene where Willie, Indi and Short Round are presented with unfamiliar food, including bugs.
Am I going to post the song "Sandstorm" right now? T'would be a crime punishable by death if I didn't.
I listened to this song this day, and given how sad this episode is, I think it fits quite nicely.
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