Xena: Season 4, Episode 2: "Adventures in the Sin Trade II"

Alternative Title: Xena: Blood and Fur II

Ain't no doubt, I've said before that one of the things I love about this show is the creativity. To have the future told about what are obviously upcoming episodes is such a treat.  

[SPOILER] I remember watching this episode for the first time (which was back in 2009, remember) and had no idea that the crucifixion would come true and that they would actually fucking die. And they way they died was something I was not expecting from all that Xena was up until this point. [END SPOILER]

Another note, we are reminded when Xena puts the pinch on herself, she been on the receiving end and felt the pain of every fighting maneuver she has ever utilized, several times. It is how she learns. Really love this detail.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

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EXTRA QUOTES:

1) [Xena cracks Otere’s neck in the spa.] Otere: “That felt great.” X: “A little more pressure, and you can kill someone with that move.” — It isn't the most comforting thing I’ve heard from a chiropractor, but it's certainly not the worst. 

2) X: “We make camp here, tonight. Set up a charm ring around the camp. That ought to keep Alti and her demon friends busy for a while.” — So wear that outfit you like and bat my lashes like a whore. Got it.

3) Cyane: “You know, you have the potential to be the greatest of women warriors. At heart, you’re an Amazon, whether you believe it or not.” — I have always thought this was true about Xena, too.

4) Cyane: “And you don’t want that baby inside of you to grow up with a murderer for a mother, do you?” X: “I’m already a murder, Cyane. Becoming an Amazon won’t change that.” Cyane: “You’re a murderer because you still think and act like one. Join us. We can teach you a new way, a new code to live by.” — I don't know what to say here. It just seems important.

POLITICAL CORNER:

1) Basically, Xena tells the Amazon youth that she was a trump supporter and voted for trump (Alti), but then after the election (slaughter), she changed sides and told them they all need to join together to defeat trump. I would be pretty fucking hesitant, too.

This is Terry from Just One of the Guys (1985). Otere reminds me of her. Couldn't find a great picture of Otere, but if I could, it would be of her with her headdress off.

Here's the Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000) tree fighting scene, which came two years AFTER this episode, but who's paying attention to this stuff, honestly... Seriously though, aren't these kinds of fighting tree scenes legendary in kung fu movies? I think they are, I'm too lazy at this moment to look it up.

 

Yes, I was legit listening to this in the weeks of viewing this episode. It's appropriate. These women are wild, god dammit. Wild in love. Don't @ me.

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Xena: Season 4, Episode 1: "Adventures in the Sin Trade"

Alternative Title: 
Xena: Blood and Fur

The more I watch this, the more I frickin love it. Xena wiping blood on her forehead and gyrating like she's summoning the foot soldiers of hell?? Yaaas, kween!

In similar but not other news, the planned Xena reboot has been announced as DEAD since my last review. They're not moving forward with bringing our goodness back.

• On the one hand, my heart!! It could've been amazing. A writer from Lost was going to write Xena and Gabrielle as the lovers we all know they are but can't verify. Think about how intense that would've been.
• On the other, "THANK GOD." Can we really trust someone to do it right? Do it as good or better than Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor? I dunno...Only time won't tell.

Technically, one thing I will say I'm just about sick of are the fucking spoilers in the DVD presentation. Like all the pics.

[SPOILER (BUT KINDA NOT BECAUSE THEY SHOW THIS TO YOU ON THE FUCKING DVD CASE, WHICH IS WHY I'M COMPLAINING):] On the DVD case, there is one, fat, glorious picture of Xena hanging on a cross in winter. See, I don't want to fucking remember that. I want to be surprised. And what about those who haven't seen the frickin show? [END SPOILER (BUT NOT REALLY)]

I admit, probably the last half of the third season, I watched on Netflix, because I didn't have access to a (working) DVD player. These first three eps of season 4, I watched on DVD on my new computer. The quality is very poor, but I fucking love it. I'm in a tiny apartment on 34th Street in Manhattan right now, but I'm going to try to get my TV and DVD player out of storage, scrounge-up some wireless headphones, and watch the shit out of this show.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

CLICK HERE for full page view.

CLICK HERE FOR bigger VIEW! 

EXTRA NOTES:

1) The title of this episode also could've been “Fringe.”

2) Ok, so like many before me, I love Alti. And here she is, brand new, in season 4, episode 1.

3) Why does Xena care so much about Anokin? ...Did that girl put a sexy spell on her? Maybe Alti did. Am I supposed to be asking these questions?

4) We’re supposed to understand there’s a northern branch of Amazons, never mentioned before, and that they all understand the role of the shaman?

5) There are so many levels and timelines happening here:

• Amazon afterlife
• Current, live timeline
• Dark Xena timeline and
• Dark Xena Amazon afterlife timeline

6) Again, when Xena wakes up with all the young Amazons there: Beyond Thunderdome

7) Xena remembers the gauntlet. I frickin love it. She’s so hot going through it. 

8) [SPOILER] Xena makes the same cry face in this episode that she does in the last episode of the season. [END SPOILER]

EXTRA QUOTES:

9) X: “My mind has lost its center.” — I think this about 20 times a day.

10) Dead Amazon: “You’re the one who gave me a decent funeral. Now you, too, are in the land of the dead. I thank you, mourn for you.” X: “Don’t mourn for me. I’m not dead.” — Oh, Xena! Always keepin' it real!!

11) X: "You’re as soft as a pig’s belly. And what’s all this talk about our baby and us?! I swear, if you use the word, “Family,” I’m gonna puke.” — She said sweetly.

12) Alti: “You wanna know what they are. Your friend you told me about, Lao Ma, her powers come from denial, from self-sacrifice, from the light. That’s not for people like you and me. I wanna tap into the heart of darkness, the sheer, naked will behind all craving, hatred, and violence. I’ll become the face of death itself, capable of destroying not only a person’s body, but their soul. Help me, and I’ll make you ‘Destroyer of Nations’.” - Really love Claire Stansfield's delivery here. This is what makes me like her.

13) X: “I can’t. Gabrielle, I can’t. You know, nothing would make me happier than seeing you again. You were my light. But I just realized what it was that you gave me a light of my own. There’s something I gotta do, something you’d want me to do. I love you.”

14) O: “The Berserker!” X: “That’s the Berserker?!” O: No! That’s the Berserker!” - The only light moment in the ep.

15) X: “As we get closer to her stronghold, she’ll get stronger and stronger. This new power that she has, the ones that make you relive your past, it’s a toughie.” - Sorry, it’s a WHAT?

Before I watched this episode, this was the only Anokin I knew. Not sure who came first. If you know, please feel free to school me. Feel free to school us all. (I was going to show a movie clip of adult Anakin, but these movies are so fucking terrible, I just couldn't do it.) 

Re: the flashbacks, I know I just posted this video last episode, but it still demonstrates my point, and IT'S ALL THERE IS.

The Berserker's garb looks similar to Rexor's and Thorgrim's from Conan the Barbarian (1982):

Y'all this episode marks Zoe Bell's first episode with Xena. God, she's amazing. [SERIES SPOILER] Any coincidence that she joined for what was the first truly great season of Xena? I think not. [END SPOILER:]

This is the closest thing to what I wanted to show from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. If I'd had my way, the scene I would have displayed here would be of the children finding Mad Max out-cold in the desert and then them gathered around him as he wakes within their domain. 

I really have no excuse for this, other than everything else I was listening to during this time was inappropriate for the first episode of Season 1. Yes, it's the original "Bittersweet Symphony."

 

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