ALTERNATIVE TITLE:
"The Valkyrie Trilogy, Part 1: Beowulf"
HOLY NUTBUTTERS... You guys, If you’ve completely forgotten how Beowulf goes, then this telling is a wild ride. I love the SHIT. OUT. OF. IT. This is only the first part, so I won't go full monty 'til next episode, but WOW. Number of times Gabrielle says Xena’s path is her path: 2EXTRA LOVED:
Number of times someone says, “I know _noun_ like (I know) _thing_:" 2
- Xena senses Beowulf watching her
- Xena narrating that beautiful letter
- Xena falling from the sky and hitting the ground
- Gabrielle grabbing her sai
- Xena’s armor covered in blood – I didn’t notice it at first, then I did, and shit.
- Xena totally eyes Gabrielle while eating. Sure, she makes a pass at her food, but she's also just teasing her. Loved this.
- Gabrielle looks very hurt and tense when Xena says she doesn’t want to talk about the thing that’s bothering her. Xena even says she's not trying to shut her out. She knows Gabrielle is hurt by it, but how can she tell her she's about to leave her forever.
- I don't know how to get past this: Xena literally signs her letter to Gabrielle with a lip imprint. An OPEN MOUTHED lip imprint. Like, not a close-lipped imprint, which would imply a chaste kiss (which.. even that is gay). No, it's an open mouth lip blot. What the fuck?
- Xena gives Grinhilda a very saucy look as they ride alongside each other in the air.
- The Rheingold keepers are super gay. “Our new friend is delightful. I think I love her.” They talking about falling in love with Xena, then the maiden saying, “she’s MY friend,” kind of defines for us what a "friend" means on this show. Because she manhandles Xena when they're underwater and talks to her about sexual things. We think, when Xena says, “come on, just a peek,” that she’s asking for a peek at the maiden's "stuff." Xena and this maiden even embrace underwater. Gees.
- Fuuuuuuck, this convo between Brunhilda and Gabrielle where Gabrielle explains that being friends with Xena comes at a price and Brunhilda accurately retorts, “A price you love paying.” Gabrielle gets a little uncomfortable and almost defensive at this accusation, it's so personal and intimate. Such a treat to see this kind of vulnerability from Gabrielle. Yes, she's usually the openly vulnerable one, but never before at this level. Thank you, Xena... Then Brunhilda asks Gabrielle, "She feels the same?" and Gabrielle again, a little flatfooted says, "I hope so." Are you serious right now? "'Does she feel the same?'" This is a conversation about two people in love.
By the way, I'm slowly making my way through Adventure Time. It's fucking hilarious and right before I watched this episode of Xena, I unwittingly watched a very funny episode of Adventure Time guest-starring Lucy Lawless. Here's the episode actually. See if you can guess which one's her:
SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.
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EXTRA QUOTES:
1) X to Grindl: "It looks good on me, don't you think? I'm waiting for you." – Just had to include this badassery.
2) G: "What's this about?" X: "Nothing." – This is remarkable, because Xena at that moment is really thinking that she’s gotta leave and will probably never see Gabrielle again, yet all she says is, “Nothing.”
3) G: "Still keeping secrets from me, after all these years." X: "Look it's something I did a long time before I met you. I just don't feel like talking about it right now." G: "All right." X: "I'm not trying to shut you out. You know our friendship's the most important thing in my life but in this case-" G: "Xena you don't have to tell me. Part of being a friend is letting people keep secrets. I respect that." X: "OK." – I’m so into this intimate topic and convo.
4) G [Narrating]: "I know Xena wouldn't have done this if she didn't feel this was something she had to do by herself. I debated whether to respect her wish.. but I can't. Her path is my path. I've been following her now, for weeks. Her trail has taken me north, due north, farther north than I've ever been." – This is so fun to hear, ROC does a great job. I love when she says, “but I can’t.” I could only hope to say my lines like that.
5) X: "Whoa. Hey, there who'd you mess with?" Odin: "No one is capable of doing this to me without my consent." X: "What kind of an idiot has himself crucified?" – Hahahaha I love dark Xena.
6) Odin: "I am Odin, king of the Norse gods. It is my duty to bring peace to the Norse country. Yet as I sit in Valhalla and watch the bitter struggle called life on this Earth, I ask 'Are we doomed to live in a constant state of endless conflict?!'" X: "Damn straight. That's what makes life so worth living." – I kind of agree with this...
7) G: "Poor Xena." Brunhilda: "Poor Xena? You haven't been listening very well, have you?" G: "Xena thought that she could live without love. I know that she can't, because she's my friend." – This is so beautiful.
8) Brunhilda: "You're pretty good. You cut me with my own sword. That's impressive. I can't tell whether you're better than me or not, though, and to prove it, I think one of us would have to die and I don't want that." G: "Why did you attack me?" Brunhilda: "To prove to you that I am worthy to fight alongside Xena."
9) X: "That's the power you're going to give me? But couldn't I do that by just rubbing together a couple of sticks? Well, couldn't I?" Odin: "No, you've only just begun exploring it. You can go much further. If you keep practicing one day you'll be able to harness all your energy into a flame that will burn for as long as you wish." X: "Turn all of my bodily energy into a bonfire. Sounds like self-sacrifice. I'm not into that, Odin." – Hahahaha
10) X: "Where is it? All right. The Rheingold." Rhein Maiden: "You mustn't touch it." X: "Yes, I must." Rhein Maiden: "Are you mad? The Rheingold will only bring about your destruction." X: "Only if I haven't forsaken love." Rhein Maiden: "Have you?" – This part is so violent.
11) G: "Xena wouldn't need a ring. She's a great fighter. She's probably the best." – fuck, I LOVE that Gabrielle is saying this, and that it’s probably true. Brunhilda: "You love her very much, don't you?" G: "She's my best friend. I know her like I know my own heart." Brunhilda: "A friendship like that is something to be envied." G: "It has a price like everything." Brunhilda: "A price you love paying." – Whew! G: "Yeah." Brunhilda: "She feels the same?" G: "I hope so." Brunhilda: "She must. She must be on a very dangerous mission; otherwise, she probably wouldn't have left you behind." G: "That's what her note said." – This conversation rules all space and time. A lot going on therein. Brunhilda is so obsessed with Xena and being like Xena, she recognizes here that Gabrielle is Xena's girlfriend, and thus she, too, falls for Gabrielle. "That’s what her note said." – This is so deep, because it seems like Gabrielle isn’t sure that Xena loves her when she answers, “I hope so.” Like they’ve never told each other as much, that they loved each other "like that." Then Brunhilda unwittingly fits a puzzle piece for Gabrielle when she tells Gabrielle that Xena must feel the same if she left her behind to keep her out of danger, and Gabrielle does say, “That’s what her note said,” but it takes a beat, as though in her head she's thinking, “OMG, as a matter of fact, that is what she said, so she must have left me behind because she cares about me so much.”
12) Beowulf: "You miss your friend, don't you?" X: "Sure." Beowulf: "She is very beautiful." X: "Yes, she is." Beowulf: "I only saw her the one time, but she seems special. Who knows how I'd feel if I got to know her." X: "Oh, you'd like her." Beowulf: "Of course, neither one of us will live long enough to see her again, anyway." – And here is Xena vaguely saying Gabrielle is beautiful and that she misses her, while Beowulf admits he's interested in Gabrielle.
13) Beowulf: "The people up here think of you as a demon." X: "So they should." – This is fucking awesome. And the music here, fuck.
14) Brunhilda: "Then we'll be there by morning. I just hope we don't run into Grindl along the way." G: "Who's Grindl?" – I kinda love G’s expression here. Like she can’t be bothered but, “ok, now what.”
15) Brunhilda: "I wish I had a friend like you." G: "You do." – Pretty sure this is how Single White Female starts.
I listened to this song this day. It possesses a mood of this episode.
