Xena: Season 6, Episode 16: "Send in the Clones"

ALTERNATIVE TITLE: 

“Not ‘Attack of the Clones’” 

A fun, cute ride and send-off to Claire Stansfield, but sooo annoyed that they wasted one of these last valuable Xena slots on a clips episode. Despite the stock footage and the fact that there's really not a lot to hash-out here, there's a lot to hash-out here. 

First things first: really loved the shit out of that car, and it was neat to see Claire Stansfield talking and acting like a regular person even for a clips episode. I quite enjoyed this.  

 

At the end of the episode, it's evidenced gloriously that Xena and Gabrielle are together, but they tricked us again early-on when Evil Xena hints that they aren't together when she says, "What are they trying to say about our relationship anyway?" This was before we knew she was evil, though, and bereft of her soul-mating memories of our sweet Gigi.  

 

Man the clips this time 'round were heavy af, NOT funny (except for the Joxer stuff.) I guess that makes sense though, since this is the final clips episode for the entire series. Gotta pull out the big guns! Episodes clipped from:

"Them Bones, Them Bones"

"Chakram"

"Eve" x 2

"Motherhood"

"Amphipolis Under Siege"

"One Against an Army" x 2

"The Way" x 3

"Heart of Darkness"

"Destiny"

"Adventures in the Sin Trade II"

"The Debt I"

Hercules: "Armageddon Now Part 2"

"The Ides of March"

"A Necessary Evil"

"Deja Vu All Over Again"

"The Abyss"

"Callisto"

"Back in the Bottle"  

Also would like to take this time to reiterate how much I love Lucy Lawless as Xena. There'll never be another like her. She's like Christopher Reeve as Superman.  

 

A word about the Who Called Me During? field in my spreadsheet: I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve been reviewing this series for so long, that it’s gone from “Who Called Me During?” to “Who Texted Me During?” Because in 2012, it was true: people used to fucking call. Now, no one calls – NO. ONE. Everyone texts. It's pretty sweet. 

 

In finalization: I can see myself marking this ep a star higher up to a 6 and making it a favorite, but I’ll  wait until the feeling becomes overwhelming.

SPOILERS: My reviews are full of them! I'll try to note when I'm about to spoil the series by posting [SERIES SPOILER] before said item and [END SPOILER] after. Please don't read the review, unless you've seen the episode under discussion or don't care if I spoil it.

CLICK HERE FOR bigger VIEW! 

EXTRA QUOTES:

1) "It's all there." – What? All $3,000 of it? For ancient artifacts? 

 

2) Alexis: "Have you compiled the clips?" Mac: "Uh, they're almost done." Alexis: "They need to be on digital discs." – Hahahha! I loled meatily at the dated technology in this. Not because the show was getting anything wrong, but because I remember how high-tech those things were back then, compared to where we are now. 

 

3) Clea: "So, your man in Macedonia really came through, huh?" – Interesting to just me. 

 

4) Alexis: "He promised me 2 strands of hair from the tomb of the scrolls and he delivered. My carbon testing shows the hairs to be between 2- and 3,000 years old." – Is this a joke about how Xena jumps all over the place timewise? Also, just two random hairs end up being from each of Xena and Gabrielle. They weren't worried they'd make two Xenas? 

5) Mac: "Yeah but they're great to look at just the way they are." Clea: "Don't be a male cliche. You telling me you're excited by looking at liefeless female forms that have no mind or personality?" Mac: "Yeah." – This is kind of funny, though gross.

6) Clea: "I included other things, but I feel very strongly that Gabrielle is the most important relationship in Xena's life." – This is true, and there's a reason the episode pushed this first. 

7) Clea: "That's not a stunt double." – Hahahaha, all their banter about the show.

 

8) Clea: "Think about the fun they had together, the baths they shared." – Hahahaha

 

9) Clea: "Um, how much do you remember?" Mac: "She remembers the pinch pretty good! Hey! I just got pinched by Xena!" 

 

10) G: "Did Ares do this?" Alexis: "No, a higher power called science." – This is so relevant RIGHT NOW. God help us.

 

11) Clea: "Um, we were hoping you would kick butt for good." 

 

12) Polly: "Xena could kick Jackie Chan's ass. Jet Lee - no contest. If Bruce Lee were to come back from his grave, Xena'd kick his ass, too." – Hahahahaha 

 

13) X: "All right. That's not how it happened. I woke you up before I went to Valhalla, right?" – This is a bit gay, if I remember correctly. 

14) X: "That old 'greater-good' thing? I don't know. It kinda doesn't appeal this time around." – Hahahha this time around.

 

15) X": "Oh, you got some sugar and fat. (She points to makes Gabrielle look down at her own chest then boops her nose.)" – Ahhahahahahahaha! She thinks a donut is called a 'sugar and fat.'

 

16) Alti: "Well, I'd spent countless incarnations enjoying the fact that Xena's reputation as a do-gooder was lost for eternity. After she died I hid the scrolls. And I thought I could just sit back and enjoy the unchecked evolution of evil on Earth. It's really hit a few high points in the last century. But then this hideous TV show starts celebrating her as a defender of righteousness. Well, we'll see how long that reputation lasts." – Hahhahahaha "hideous." 

 

17) Reporter: "Reports are flooding in of a reign of terror sweeping through the downtown area. A woman dressed like the television character, Xena, Warrior Princess, has broken into the city jail and freed another woman dressed as Gabrielle the Warrior Princess' sidekick." – I wonder if this was a real reporter doing a bit or if they got an actor. She presents like an actual reporter, like she's done it a million times. Awesome. 

 

18) Clea: "She's plenty more than just a sidekick." – Darn tootin'.

 

19) Alti: "Xena wasn't always an angel in the early days, but she gets 22 episodes of a TV show, and everyone thinks she's a great hero." – This is fucking hilarious the way they keep referring to the show inside the show like it's trash.

 

20) Edwin B. Stalter Animal Enthusiast: "OK, well, I was just, like, watching my giraffes, and then Xena turns up, and it's like, it's her, man. It's [BLEEP]ing her! And it's like there's cops all over the place, you know? And but Xena's just like 'wee-ha!' And then she's like 'hiyah!' You know? She totally [BLEEP]ing deals with the heat, man. But then she just jumps the fence, lands on the back of this crazy-ass, like, horse. She's [BLEEP]ing gone. It was awesome, man. You know, Xena's hot, too, you know?" – He's very clearly saying "fucking" all three times. I love this so much.

 

21) Alti: "I hear you've been busy, Xena." X: "Alti." Alti: "Missed your fire, your fury." – Love the way this is written and delivered.

 

22) X: "Oh bird, you sure move fast." – Is it a Firebird? 

 

23) Polly: "You know, to be honest, I was a bit disappointed anyway. I mean, they just seemed to be so much more dynamic on TV." Lea [answers]: "-on TV, yeah." – Hahahaha

EXTRA LOVED: 

• Dr. Polly, like Xena, loves fight scenes 
• Evil Xena footage 
• Xena licking the donut 
• Gabrielle drinking from her cup 
• Alti's laugh, always 
• God, that car 
• Xena throws her chakram, drops a whole car on Alti, then catches it

EXTRA NOTES:

• Who is this watch salesman?
• Can anyone tell from the buildings which city they're in?
• Just two extra notes. How weak. Almost not even worth this little additional section.

I listened to these two blazes of glory this day. The Xena fan crew fully expected Xena and Gabrielle to be their modern day saviors, although, awkwardly, that's not quite what this song means. 

Here, you could say that in the junkyard, Xena and Gabrielle really do show them how they do it where they from.